Hello all! Sorry about my lack of posting, - I still felt soooooo frustrated at losing my Thailand post as that was a fantastic holiday! I THOUGHT if you saved stuff, (such as my blog post every five mins) that I wouldn't lose it! Hmmmmm.
Now I have been back in NZ, Edendale for three weeks and three days. I would go and post up a heap of photos and descriptions but have done that on facebook. :-) House is BEAUTIFUL, the colours came up better in real life than they did in photos. I live on the edge of a small town, (Edendale, population of about 580 people) and my section is 1300sqm. The average size block in NZ towns is a quarter acre, some bigger, not many smaller. Edendale is located 38km from Invercargill, (NZ's most southern city with a population of about 50000). Gore, - another rural town of about 8000 people is 26km up the road, - therefore all necessary facilities, (except lotsa warm sun haha) is available close by. Lots of green grass here haha! Lots of dairy farms nearby. Edendale has NZ's biggest cheese factory in town. A processing Fonterra plant which exports dairy products across the world.
Invercargill and Gore are both known for their sporting facilities with both centres having a large multisport complex, good swimming pools, gyms, sports groups, clubs etc with a good velodrome in Invercargill and iceskating rink in Gore.
I have to say vege gardening is the way to go here! I am eating lots of them from Mum's tunnel house, (she lives 4.5km away). She has a big one! I even cooked and ate beetroot for the first time last night, - was damn good too! I have planted silverbeet, spinach, spring onions, potatoes in my vege garden, - the birds look to have eaten parts of the silverbeet and spinach but will see how it goes, seems cheap to grow veges, - of course one would need to buy some compost and blood&bone as well as the plants but these seem to go a long way.
The weather is what I expected! Since returning the best daily high has been 22, (it hit 20 or above twice in 3 ,1/2 weeks) and the coldest daily maximum was 12 degrees, - that day was still 7 degrees at 1.30pm! YES, this is SUMMER and what summer is here! Average maximums seem to reach 15-17 degrees, - am craving a bit of scorching relaxing heat, - 30 plus lol! But I accept that doesn't happen. Although yesterday only hit 16 degrees I did sit outside reading for a while when the sun came wearing shorts and singlet which I don't think I ever comfortably would have done on the coldest Perth winter day, (which hit about 16). Quite strong wind is a big part of here along with rain, - sometimes constant rain, - and other times where you get 4 seasons/even 8 seasons in one day! Night time lows have generally been between about 5 and 12 since I returned.
Training is something I have gotten back into, (10 days ago). Between the time my 29 day challenge finished, (mid August) and the time I left for Thailand, (mid October), - I did stack on about 8kg. I didn't weigh myself officially before Thailand but going by my clothes, - they have felt about the same level of *too tight* since. I weighed in 10 days for first time since mid August, - ouch, - but I expected it! I went from 76.something straight after that challenge up to 84.4kg Monday last week :-(
The usual, - overeating! Although Thailand etc was very active I did overeat etc on the leadup to Thailand and thoughts of returning to NZ. I did hurt my back for a bit, - but then didn't get back into serious butt kicking training.
So have been back to running, (slow slogs outdoors/different climatic conditions to get used to), mountain biking, (my old mountain bike remained in NZ) and resistance work such as pushups, lunges, plank, tricep dips etc. The steps have been useful on my deck for agility work as well. But seriously, - am SO unfit compared to what I have been. My best 5k running time has been 33:20, - a long way off my 26 mins I used to manage! I have pretty much cleaned up the diet, - only thing is I am having a few more starchy carbs in the evening than I used to when on track. Such as a boiled or microwaved new potato with skin on alongside the rest of my veg/salad and protein. (I used to only really have starchy carbs in the evening if I had a big race or training session planned the next day).
But am loving having lots of salad and lean vegies from the garden. I did weigh in today, 82.5 so 1.9 down in 9 days. I have been invited to coffee and cake tomoz, - so have to work out ways to balance such stuff out without feeling snobby and declining every offer of cake etc, - but on the other hand not let it turn into a binge and lose training momentum and all else. I actually find it easier aiming to eat totally clean, say no to cake etc than practise moderation. But if I get into cake/sugar eating zone, - I have to fight hard not to have it ALL and NOW. But if I decline what's going constantly, - I just feel fussy, very self absorbed, not open to fitting in with others and that I don't fit in around here, - then create attention! Cause I have been on track this week, - I was given 3 after dinner mints after a meal out one night by the waitress last Saturday, - and they are still in the fridge as sugar hasn't genuinely interested me at all this week and last! I have entered a couple of events in the next couple of months, - will update you soon!
Will be working for the family business starting first week of next year. Horticulture it will be.
Over and out for now but will return very soon!
Pip :-)
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
LOST THAILAND POST :-(
Sawa Dee Ka! (Hello in Thailand).
Just a quick check in today. I WAS in the process of writing a huge Thailand post/story/day by day, happenings etc. I had put over 6 hours of work into it, over a few days. My goal last night was to finish this post and I had put several timeslots in front of the computer. I also spent precious time writing travel notes some days while away to go toward this story. I was saving my work on my blog about every five minutes when typing.
But alas! I was working last night, on a comfy chair, laptop on the knee, somehow I tilted my laptop while typing and managed to wipe/lose the whole thing while typing. I cannot find it ANYWHERE. I never type documents on 'word' as I have never figured out/remembered how to cut/paste stuff. Talk about being absolutely gutted! I wanted to f**k*n SCREAM! Whenever I wipe something accidentally such as an important document, I am sooooo mad and can never make it as good the second time round. Am contemplating whether to try and re-write this, but just feel frustrated when I lost it the first time!
It was an AWESOME trip. Packed, energetic, cultural, fun, some pics with descriptions are on FB, - may have to go with that for memories in the future! I would have preferred it if leaner, (feeling fitter on the trekking, not worrying about clambering in/out of kayaks etc)
Will soon get onto my NZ arrival post!!! Anyway, will talk soon.
Pip :-)
Just a quick check in today. I WAS in the process of writing a huge Thailand post/story/day by day, happenings etc. I had put over 6 hours of work into it, over a few days. My goal last night was to finish this post and I had put several timeslots in front of the computer. I also spent precious time writing travel notes some days while away to go toward this story. I was saving my work on my blog about every five minutes when typing.
But alas! I was working last night, on a comfy chair, laptop on the knee, somehow I tilted my laptop while typing and managed to wipe/lose the whole thing while typing. I cannot find it ANYWHERE. I never type documents on 'word' as I have never figured out/remembered how to cut/paste stuff. Talk about being absolutely gutted! I wanted to f**k*n SCREAM! Whenever I wipe something accidentally such as an important document, I am sooooo mad and can never make it as good the second time round. Am contemplating whether to try and re-write this, but just feel frustrated when I lost it the first time!
It was an AWESOME trip. Packed, energetic, cultural, fun, some pics with descriptions are on FB, - may have to go with that for memories in the future! I would have preferred it if leaner, (feeling fitter on the trekking, not worrying about clambering in/out of kayaks etc)
Will soon get onto my NZ arrival post!!! Anyway, will talk soon.
Pip :-)
Thursday, October 18, 2012
THAILAND TODAY!!!
Well, it is 12.08am. Alarm goes off at 4.45am...........for me to get up, dressed, to head out the door to be ready for my taxi at 5.30am which takes me to the airport!
Have vacummed and tidied up a bit. I bought a pair of new comfy Teva's, (sport/beach sandals, - better than jandals for climbing over rocks etc). Hope I have packed right. I think the only thing missing from the list is binoculars, (haven't got those!) Not sure if my long light weight trackpants with a long sleeved shirt is suitable enough for visiting a temple but it's what I have got for now! And I have a nice hot pink luggage tag!
I had sent my sleeping bag back to NZ with all my luggage, - bought a light weight summer sleeping bag for $12, - think I'm 4-5 nights camping! We have a 3 day trek near Chiang Mai up north in the hills, visiting tribes, (4-5 hours trekking a day so not too major) and a 3 day kayak near Krabi with camping each night as part of my trip. Other days have bike riding/visiting temples/scenic areas etc. A couple nights accommodation is in an overnight 'sleeper train', - another night on a 'floating raft'! Otherwise at a guesthouse or hotel.
On a grading of 1-5, (1 the easiest and 5 being challenging fitness wise), - mine is a 3. It's an active tour, - but I believe it doesn't matter if you're not superfit!
Some meals are provided on tour, - some aren't. I have 2 days either side of the tour which I have no plans for at this stage, however my accommodation for these nights is booked and paid for. I am staying at the hotel which my tour company G-Adventures uses as their starting point for tours out of Bangkok. I have paid for a G-Adventures rep to meet me at Bangkok and transfer me to the hotel so I will see if this happens!
I have bought a travel adapter for Thailand, so hope to charge phone up and use the Wi-Fi to do the
odd facebook update where possible!
Hopefully I have some awesome fun stories and photos to share on my return :-)
I return to Perth on 6 Nov, - so will prob have an update done on 7 Nov!
Bye till then!
Pip :-)
Have vacummed and tidied up a bit. I bought a pair of new comfy Teva's, (sport/beach sandals, - better than jandals for climbing over rocks etc). Hope I have packed right. I think the only thing missing from the list is binoculars, (haven't got those!) Not sure if my long light weight trackpants with a long sleeved shirt is suitable enough for visiting a temple but it's what I have got for now! And I have a nice hot pink luggage tag!
I had sent my sleeping bag back to NZ with all my luggage, - bought a light weight summer sleeping bag for $12, - think I'm 4-5 nights camping! We have a 3 day trek near Chiang Mai up north in the hills, visiting tribes, (4-5 hours trekking a day so not too major) and a 3 day kayak near Krabi with camping each night as part of my trip. Other days have bike riding/visiting temples/scenic areas etc. A couple nights accommodation is in an overnight 'sleeper train', - another night on a 'floating raft'! Otherwise at a guesthouse or hotel.
On a grading of 1-5, (1 the easiest and 5 being challenging fitness wise), - mine is a 3. It's an active tour, - but I believe it doesn't matter if you're not superfit!
Some meals are provided on tour, - some aren't. I have 2 days either side of the tour which I have no plans for at this stage, however my accommodation for these nights is booked and paid for. I am staying at the hotel which my tour company G-Adventures uses as their starting point for tours out of Bangkok. I have paid for a G-Adventures rep to meet me at Bangkok and transfer me to the hotel so I will see if this happens!
I have bought a travel adapter for Thailand, so hope to charge phone up and use the Wi-Fi to do the
odd facebook update where possible!
Hopefully I have some awesome fun stories and photos to share on my return :-)
I return to Perth on 6 Nov, - so will prob have an update done on 7 Nov!
Bye till then!
Pip :-)
Sunday, October 14, 2012
A Few Pics from Boddington visit 14/10/12!
Today I got a ride into Boddington where I caught up with some relatives and friends I hadn't seen in years! But first thing first, - I took a walk with my camera down where I used to go running many years back! :-)
Pip :-)
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
WELL TEAM....................
The older I get, the longer the yo-yo drops, the grumpier I sure get :)
I am really peeved at myself that I haven't got my shit together permanently, - ie got myself to an awesome fitness level/size/shape where I stayed at, (within a small range) permanently!
In the zone, - where my 'ideal' destination feels close, I feel invincible, - no WAY will I let it slip, (not that I've ever followed a 'diet' or have been overly 'strict' with anything, but eventually.......at some point.......it happens! Long term maintenance still eludes me!
Right now, I am probably the biggest I've been in years, - since 2008 or 2009 (for a short period then)anyway, - still am keeping away from the scales. I feel like I'm pretty much bursting out of my few size 16 garments I have, - a far cry from the fit and toned size 10 I was mid last year!, - would say I'm up about 20kg on that. Not a place where I ever imagined I would be again or ever hope to be in again!
As for last weeks contract, - I was using a kinda 'ease in' approach rather than anything overly strict. I did OK for a few days, - but a few drinks last weekend turned into a few too many, then too much food, then I caught a sore throat/cold, - all the best when I'm heading off to Thailand Friday next week! It had better not develop into anything nasty, - and had better go away. Trip sorting out is getting there, but STILL everything is not finalised.
I have been biking and walking alot, (such as 40k rides or 15k walks in a day) haven't been overly indulgent since not working, (just a bit) but most of the damage while I had my work routine. Am loving not working though!
Am now in the process of just having have started a little mini detox till I leave for Thailand, - no caffeine, no alcohol, no soft drinks/diet soft drinks or confectionary sugar, no deep fried or pastry food. Pretty much will stick to the same nutrition guidelines as I did for my kinda recent 29 day challenge, - except give up the coffee as well. My reasoning for that is I don't want caffeine withdrawal headaches on my tour where there won't be cappucino machines, - and also in NZ I won't be able to have a cappucino machine at my beck and call! I won't give up coffee for good, - just make it a couple of times a week thing instead of once or twice a day! Will keep up the walking/riding/gymming, - will add resistance work back in again. My recent sore back didn't help me keep momentum, - but I have dragged it out as an excuse for too long!
Well, - shedding the 20kg(ish).....to get to my 'awesome form' and attaining a fitness level I'm proud of again will probably be a 6 month(ish) project! I really hope my body responds, - I know it is slower off the mark as it's getting older, - hope I don't have loose skin etc either, - I feel bad for my body that I keep stressing it! I still think I have it in me to attain new PB's that I never have before! To stay focussed long enough to do 2 full chin ups, the splits, get my running speed back there, and really develop my cycling and swimming........but all that feels a good way down the track at the moment! The lifestyle NEEDS to be kept, -off zone CAN'T creep in. I have announced the lifestyle I want and aim to lead beyond that! For sure, - I realise maintenance isn't about 'going at it hard' all the time but some standards need to remain!
For now:
The focus is on being 'on track' till Thailand! Food wise, dropping the caffeine as something new and working out!
In Thailand, - all bar 4 days I will be on a tour. Some meals are provided, - some we are left to decide to our own devices. First goal will be no bingeing. Secondly, - main thing will be considering food safety, - (ie not getting some stomach bug if poss). Maybe no exotic seafood, (I luv seafood), I have been advised not to eat salad as it's maybe washed in contaminated water. Maybe cooked vegetarian options and fruit which can be peeled is safest. Will choose mainstream tour options rather than go out my usual way and be adventurous I think! And drink bottled water, (no ice in drinks). It is an active tour with cycling, hiking and kayaking. I am looking forward to the trip, - just wish I felt fitter and leaner in myself which for me equals more confidence and energy etc!
I hope to get lots of good photos and learn lots about the culture and lifestyle of Thai people. Hope to give a really good blog account of this trip when I return!
That is it for now,
Talk soon :-)
I am really peeved at myself that I haven't got my shit together permanently, - ie got myself to an awesome fitness level/size/shape where I stayed at, (within a small range) permanently!
In the zone, - where my 'ideal' destination feels close, I feel invincible, - no WAY will I let it slip, (not that I've ever followed a 'diet' or have been overly 'strict' with anything, but eventually.......at some point.......it happens! Long term maintenance still eludes me!
Right now, I am probably the biggest I've been in years, - since 2008 or 2009 (for a short period then)anyway, - still am keeping away from the scales. I feel like I'm pretty much bursting out of my few size 16 garments I have, - a far cry from the fit and toned size 10 I was mid last year!, - would say I'm up about 20kg on that. Not a place where I ever imagined I would be again or ever hope to be in again!
As for last weeks contract, - I was using a kinda 'ease in' approach rather than anything overly strict. I did OK for a few days, - but a few drinks last weekend turned into a few too many, then too much food, then I caught a sore throat/cold, - all the best when I'm heading off to Thailand Friday next week! It had better not develop into anything nasty, - and had better go away. Trip sorting out is getting there, but STILL everything is not finalised.
I have been biking and walking alot, (such as 40k rides or 15k walks in a day) haven't been overly indulgent since not working, (just a bit) but most of the damage while I had my work routine. Am loving not working though!
Am now in the process of just having have started a little mini detox till I leave for Thailand, - no caffeine, no alcohol, no soft drinks/diet soft drinks or confectionary sugar, no deep fried or pastry food. Pretty much will stick to the same nutrition guidelines as I did for my kinda recent 29 day challenge, - except give up the coffee as well. My reasoning for that is I don't want caffeine withdrawal headaches on my tour where there won't be cappucino machines, - and also in NZ I won't be able to have a cappucino machine at my beck and call! I won't give up coffee for good, - just make it a couple of times a week thing instead of once or twice a day! Will keep up the walking/riding/gymming, - will add resistance work back in again. My recent sore back didn't help me keep momentum, - but I have dragged it out as an excuse for too long!
Well, - shedding the 20kg(ish).....to get to my 'awesome form' and attaining a fitness level I'm proud of again will probably be a 6 month(ish) project! I really hope my body responds, - I know it is slower off the mark as it's getting older, - hope I don't have loose skin etc either, - I feel bad for my body that I keep stressing it! I still think I have it in me to attain new PB's that I never have before! To stay focussed long enough to do 2 full chin ups, the splits, get my running speed back there, and really develop my cycling and swimming........but all that feels a good way down the track at the moment! The lifestyle NEEDS to be kept, -off zone CAN'T creep in. I have announced the lifestyle I want and aim to lead beyond that! For sure, - I realise maintenance isn't about 'going at it hard' all the time but some standards need to remain!
For now:
The focus is on being 'on track' till Thailand! Food wise, dropping the caffeine as something new and working out!
In Thailand, - all bar 4 days I will be on a tour. Some meals are provided, - some we are left to decide to our own devices. First goal will be no bingeing. Secondly, - main thing will be considering food safety, - (ie not getting some stomach bug if poss). Maybe no exotic seafood, (I luv seafood), I have been advised not to eat salad as it's maybe washed in contaminated water. Maybe cooked vegetarian options and fruit which can be peeled is safest. Will choose mainstream tour options rather than go out my usual way and be adventurous I think! And drink bottled water, (no ice in drinks). It is an active tour with cycling, hiking and kayaking. I am looking forward to the trip, - just wish I felt fitter and leaner in myself which for me equals more confidence and energy etc!
I hope to get lots of good photos and learn lots about the culture and lifestyle of Thai people. Hope to give a really good blog account of this trip when I return!
That is it for now,
Talk soon :-)
Sunday, October 7, 2012
NICE THINGS OF LATE...........
A week ago, I was coming to the end of my foundation so was on the lookout for a newbie.
I did once have a nice Lancome one I liked but at $68...........no I wanted to go cheaper!
My last Revlon liquid one was average, the colour consultant matched me up etc, the coverage was prob quite thick, - but all in all, - ok, not great but I bought it as it was only $28.95 on special. I remember I once liked 'Body Shop' liquid foundations which are priced in the $30's so I cruised in a local shop for a look. The sales consultant was very helpful, asked me what I was after etc, - then in the end showed me this compact 'mineral' makup as pictured.
She then matched my colour up, applied it and I fell in love! I have had mineral makeup 'powder' before, (therefore was sceptical), it frustrated me as all the loose powder somehow flew onto white vanity units, all through makeup bags making atrocious messy stains DESPITE me closing the damn lids firmly, - and it took ages to get the 'look' I liked, (I don't spend ages with makeup, like it light and natural) so I decided liquids and even tinted moisturisors with sunscreen were easier.
BUT I wanna tell you, I think the pictured Body Shop mineral makeup foundation is AWESOME! It ISN'T a powder, it comes with a decent brush for application, it can be applied to the coverage level required but never looks caked on and it has an SPF 15. It is priced quite expensively at $48.90 I think but is NICE! I guess I can just recommend that one gets the right colour for their skintone!
The next pic is of my new Clinique perfume, (nice subtle clean fresh everyday scent) as I ran out of my old perfumes bought 2 years ago. I bought the small size, - and by buying this and some Clinique 'City Block' SPF 30 facial sunscreen I could get a 'free gift', - hence the colourful filled cosmetic bag below!
If I ever buy any more 'expensive' cosmetic products, (ie not supermarket cheapest stuff on special or BodyShop stuff), I make sure I purchase at a time of the year where I get a 'decent free gift' for spending $60 or $70!
This year the 'gift' was magical! I received the cosmetic bag, a nice black mascara, a 'repairwear uplifting cream', some 'repairwear laser focus wrinkle UV damage corrector cream', some moisturising lotion, some foaming cleanser, a beaut natural lip gloss, 2 fashionable eye shadow colours in a nice compact with applicator! I must say that 'travel' sizes have become more generous of late, - will last me a while! MOST importantly with Clinique, the lids/caps seem to stay on everything well, ie no nasty stains in or through my nice cosmetic bag! My challenge is to see how long I can keep it that way!!!
The last pic is the earrings I received as a leaving gift from my workmates when I called in for my final stuff this last Friday. Stirling silver with amethysts, - I feel VERY lucky, - luv them!!!!!
Am definitely enjoying not working! However once I hit NZ I know things will get busy for me, I have quite a bit to see to on my agenda.
Till next time,
Pip :-)
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
However until now, - the enivitable is that I do, at some point, eventually fall, - to the point of weeks/months of ummm, bingeing or out of the zone behaviour where I gain a heap of kilos and lose a heap of fitness at lightening speed and all that it entails. When 'out of the zone', restarting at a much lesser level, - again- is demotivating plus getting rid of the newly formed sugar addiction, cheesy overindulgences etc which don't even appeal when 'in the zone'. But as we know, - the re-starting HAS to be done, the sooner the better!
PLUS, the ideal is 'in the zone', needs to be a permanent lifestyle for me, not a few days, weeks or at best a few months. Another valid point is that on 'full time in the zone' lifestyle doesn't mean going hard for it every year, 52 weeks a year! There will be times when we 'go for it' in our training toward whatever we are striving for. There will also be short periods where we train in a more maintenance or active recovery type of way as we allow other important things to occur in life. I do believe that 'in the zone' controlled eating/food choices we feel comfortable with need to remain a constant permanently. 'In the zone' doesn't have to mean perfection, - basically it means keeping to a controlled standard that we are happy with as individuals. Each individual is different.
I am disappointed that at my age, I am still fighting this. Yes, - I took some horrid bikini pics as I said I would yesterday and they look as I expected them to. Yes, extra fat feels not so good to carry as well. However my BIGGEST concern is what all this carry on is doing to my long term health. I intend to get this in order permanently and hope to be helpful to others in the future with similar issues.
For me it is about living a life in alignment with my core values. It is not about trying to please or meet other people's expectations.
The picture above is a contract I typed myself today. It mentions *GOALS*. then *REALITIES OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE KEPT IN CONTROL, (LIFESTYLE)!!! I have signed it, dated it. And it's underway and effective now.
By the way I am still determined not to weigh myself for a good while, ideally not this year! I took bikini pics yesterday, my proposition is to take a new set of bikini pics every 4-6 weeks of me front, side and back on. Going by them, fitness levels, habits, how I feel, clothes will determine progress.
The one thing I KNOW and am DETERMINED about this time is THIS IS IT! The permanent zone is here for good! In the event of an uncontrolled slip/binge, (which ideally will never happen), - I MUST be back to my controlled zone, within 24 hours later.
I will say again, this is about controlled choices I am happy with, not necessarily perfection all the time.
Pip :-)
Monday, October 1, 2012
NEW DIRECTIONS!!!............
Today is a Public Holiday, (Queen's Birthday) here in WA! It has been a fun weekend! I finished work on Friday!, - had a few drinks! Watched the AFL Grand Final on Saturday, then ordered in Pizza in the evening, (thin and crispy base and lots of veg on the pizza, but still takeout pizza where I ate too much and drank too much alcohol prior!) With no car I bike everywhere now, but *could* of organised myself better, - much better!
Yesterday I attended a part'ae! Some pics are on facebook! Parties are always fun. It's great catching up with mates, relaxing, dressing up, (if even only a little)! Using a road bike to get to traino, - I opted not wear a dress or heels, so am wearing a loose top and black shorts, just above knee length, thongs and toe nail polish! 26 degrees yesterday and 34 today in Perth so one can do that!
Seriously though, - I am about the fattest I have been in a few years. I am determined not to get on the scales to attach a number with it right now, but do feel it is in the vicinity of the early 80's, - could even be heading toward the mid 80's if I jumped on scales when overfull! I am probably not dis-similar to when I started my 29 day challenge not long back, - I was 81.0 after 4 intense well on track days of that!
I did buy some new French Connection Black shorts which sit just above the knee last week, quite nice but simple ones. I took a 14 and 16 into the dressing room, as I can tell by looking at me now that I am not a 10 or 12! I put on the 14's. They got done up, weren't too bad but even through a loose fitting top I could see the bulgy *muffin* sitting above those shorts! I tried on the 16's then. Maybe they were a tad baggy around the bum, but they sat just under my belly button level and the *muffin* looked like it had less cling. I bought that pair as I needed the shorts to fit NOW, not possibly in 3-4 weeks! Yesterday I was walking around in those shorts. My hips are smaller in comparison to my waist, (apple shape) so shorts were falling down due to some stomach pressure. However as shorts were sitting lower, inner upper thighs were rubbing together when walking, - another sign of carrying too much fat! I always must make sure my tops are long enough if carrying too much weight or sight wouldn't be nice, (my chest grows with my stomach as well!)
I still feel determined to turn this around FOR GOOD, - and not be a slave to the scales to determine progress. I thought about methods to do this which could even serve as visuals to help others in the future.
I have come up with taking a bikini pic of me monthly, - front and back! That bares it! A month is a time where it is possible to see *progress or *disprogress. My pics don't need to be exactly a month apart, can be anywhere from 4-6 weeks, - but will record dates.
It feels awesome not to have to put my alarm on for 4:45am tomoz, - but don't you worry, tomoz will be productive! :-)
Pip :-)
Yesterday I attended a part'ae! Some pics are on facebook! Parties are always fun. It's great catching up with mates, relaxing, dressing up, (if even only a little)! Using a road bike to get to traino, - I opted not wear a dress or heels, so am wearing a loose top and black shorts, just above knee length, thongs and toe nail polish! 26 degrees yesterday and 34 today in Perth so one can do that!
Seriously though, - I am about the fattest I have been in a few years. I am determined not to get on the scales to attach a number with it right now, but do feel it is in the vicinity of the early 80's, - could even be heading toward the mid 80's if I jumped on scales when overfull! I am probably not dis-similar to when I started my 29 day challenge not long back, - I was 81.0 after 4 intense well on track days of that!
I did buy some new French Connection Black shorts which sit just above the knee last week, quite nice but simple ones. I took a 14 and 16 into the dressing room, as I can tell by looking at me now that I am not a 10 or 12! I put on the 14's. They got done up, weren't too bad but even through a loose fitting top I could see the bulgy *muffin* sitting above those shorts! I tried on the 16's then. Maybe they were a tad baggy around the bum, but they sat just under my belly button level and the *muffin* looked like it had less cling. I bought that pair as I needed the shorts to fit NOW, not possibly in 3-4 weeks! Yesterday I was walking around in those shorts. My hips are smaller in comparison to my waist, (apple shape) so shorts were falling down due to some stomach pressure. However as shorts were sitting lower, inner upper thighs were rubbing together when walking, - another sign of carrying too much fat! I always must make sure my tops are long enough if carrying too much weight or sight wouldn't be nice, (my chest grows with my stomach as well!)
I still feel determined to turn this around FOR GOOD, - and not be a slave to the scales to determine progress. I thought about methods to do this which could even serve as visuals to help others in the future.
I have come up with taking a bikini pic of me monthly, - front and back! That bares it! A month is a time where it is possible to see *progress or *disprogress. My pics don't need to be exactly a month apart, can be anywhere from 4-6 weeks, - but will record dates.
It feels awesome not to have to put my alarm on for 4:45am tomoz, - but don't you worry, tomoz will be productive! :-)
Pip :-)
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Work......OVER AND OUT!!!!!.........Next CHAPTER!
G'day!
Well, am officially unemployed now. I finished up yesterday after nearly working for Croissant Express for 6.5 years in total. I have worked in many of the stores in Perth CBD and neighboring areas. Recently the company stores have been franchised bar one, - and I have worked for a franchisee since January 2011 in what happens to be the original store where the business began. Have met many great people, travellers, friends and great contacts from many different countries over my time at Croissant. Plus the customers! Some I have known for years! In the more efficient stores, staff are always on the go, going 'at it' at a fast pace! Early starts are a part of the business, particularly the bake shift which starts at either 4am or 4.30am depending on the shop! I remember the days when I lived in East Perth, had the 3.15 or 3.20am alarm, then up, dressed, brekkie, then biked to work, sometimes a dangerous mission!
Also I remember my exceptionally long hours I did when managing, - quite often at the shop by 4.30am to bake, then sometimes not home till after 7pm at night, then sometimes had paperwork I forced my way through till early alarm the next day! When managing, my store was a 7 day a week affair, also open an hour longer than the other shop due to it's location, - I guess I could/should of organised it better but I ended up often being there 7 days and sometimes all of those were very long days! I did get demoted from managing, - on the basis I didn't have enough control over staff, (no employee would fear me lol!)
Will miss free coffee on tap also, but have already put nail polish on today, have thrown away my worktops bar 1, (boss didn't want them back), plus my shoes! Definitely time to move on. I stayed as long as I did as I appreciated the full time aspect, no evenings or weekends now, - rare in hospitality! Also my limited driving confidence put stops to a few things and making resumes and typing out cover letters is something I DREAD!
OK, - as for THAILAND, - yes I'm still going! It would haunt me forever if I didn't. Whatever size and fitness level I am, I will make the best of it and hopefully have a great time! Honestly, if there weren't all the booking dramas, if I had been on track as I hoped this year all round I would be totally excited. I actually ended up getting my Kumuka trip refund this week finally, still haven't got all documentation yet but next weeks job is chasing that up. I ended up visiting another travel doctor which was a much more efficiently run practice and paid $240 for what they recommended. I had the combined Hep A and Typhoid vaccination and also the flu jab for the first time ever! Also I got the insect repellent recommended, plus an Anti Biotic for any minor stomach upsets overseas if they occur and also a booklet talking about safe travel in other countries.
I watched my final AFL game for a while, - it's a great sport to view.
Over and out, more soon!
Pip :-)
Well, am officially unemployed now. I finished up yesterday after nearly working for Croissant Express for 6.5 years in total. I have worked in many of the stores in Perth CBD and neighboring areas. Recently the company stores have been franchised bar one, - and I have worked for a franchisee since January 2011 in what happens to be the original store where the business began. Have met many great people, travellers, friends and great contacts from many different countries over my time at Croissant. Plus the customers! Some I have known for years! In the more efficient stores, staff are always on the go, going 'at it' at a fast pace! Early starts are a part of the business, particularly the bake shift which starts at either 4am or 4.30am depending on the shop! I remember the days when I lived in East Perth, had the 3.15 or 3.20am alarm, then up, dressed, brekkie, then biked to work, sometimes a dangerous mission!
Also I remember my exceptionally long hours I did when managing, - quite often at the shop by 4.30am to bake, then sometimes not home till after 7pm at night, then sometimes had paperwork I forced my way through till early alarm the next day! When managing, my store was a 7 day a week affair, also open an hour longer than the other shop due to it's location, - I guess I could/should of organised it better but I ended up often being there 7 days and sometimes all of those were very long days! I did get demoted from managing, - on the basis I didn't have enough control over staff, (no employee would fear me lol!)
Will miss free coffee on tap also, but have already put nail polish on today, have thrown away my worktops bar 1, (boss didn't want them back), plus my shoes! Definitely time to move on. I stayed as long as I did as I appreciated the full time aspect, no evenings or weekends now, - rare in hospitality! Also my limited driving confidence put stops to a few things and making resumes and typing out cover letters is something I DREAD!
OK, - as for THAILAND, - yes I'm still going! It would haunt me forever if I didn't. Whatever size and fitness level I am, I will make the best of it and hopefully have a great time! Honestly, if there weren't all the booking dramas, if I had been on track as I hoped this year all round I would be totally excited. I actually ended up getting my Kumuka trip refund this week finally, still haven't got all documentation yet but next weeks job is chasing that up. I ended up visiting another travel doctor which was a much more efficiently run practice and paid $240 for what they recommended. I had the combined Hep A and Typhoid vaccination and also the flu jab for the first time ever! Also I got the insect repellent recommended, plus an Anti Biotic for any minor stomach upsets overseas if they occur and also a booklet talking about safe travel in other countries.
I watched my final AFL game for a while, - it's a great sport to view.
Over and out, more soon!
Pip :-)
Monday, September 24, 2012
Expenses......Expenses......Just doesn't stop!!!.......
Hopefully someone INCLUDING myself can learn from this:
January this year I booked a holiday for Thailand, leaving October 19.
I had put a deposit down, changed my itinerary a few times at the start. Then I made a decision and paid for flights, a tour, travel insurance, some transfers in full..........all up, very exciting, all confirmed, (so I thought). I had 9 months to really get fit, stay on track, be in 'the zone'. I visualised myself as a fit toned size 10, maybe some muscle and ab definition, effortlessly getting in and out of kayaks, not worrying about hanging torso flab, not puffing up the hills when trekking and managing all the bikeriding easily and feeling very confident in myself.
I put in a few decent stints this year, (as any other year) when I thought, - this is IT, finally, this yoyo behaviour is over for GOOD, I have some momentum, am making good progress! I'm in the zone, invincible, not going overboard at social occasions, really feeling able to maintain this lifestyle! But NO, alas, little day to day issues arise and back to my long and familiar yoyo cycle and all it entails........
Firstly, mid July I was informed that Kumuka has gone bust, therefore my tour was cancelled! My agent who I booked with in the city has transferred to another office, 1.5 hours away, also away from any public transport routes so I couldn't really go talk to her! She talked on phone with trying to organise me on a similar tour with another company, hopefully getting a refund soon. No action, ignored e-mails, delay in process on phone calls. THEN I decided to look and find tours myself. I was informed I couldn't get the flights refunded as other similar tours were possible. I found another what I 'deemed' suitable tour in the same dates as my flights and rang the agent to book that. It took weeks to know what was happening. Then the agent sent one of her 'friends' into the city to get me to sign documents and pay for the new tour. I did all that, but we were both in a hurry as I had another appointment elsewhere not long after. I could tell guy really didn't want to be there, he made it clear to me he was doing his friend a favour and next time: - for my information it all should have been done online! BAD service in hospitality, - lol!!! THEN I get home I look in my pack of travel documents and see a big lots of sheets about the dangers of travel in Thailand, (motivating, - NOT!) Plus info on my flights! BUT no receipt or itinerary of the new tour I had just paid for! I'm in Thailand for 19 days, the tour is for 16!
So another e-mail to agent informing her, it took her 2 weeks for her to reply, and she just said she needs my passport number, I gave it. That was a week ago, no new info so more chasing up required by me! Still no refund from original tour company Kumuka either.
Last week I thought I had better think about travel vaccinations so rang up a surgery in city and went after work today. The communication system I have to say between the receptionist, doctors and nurses was HOPELESS today! Won't go into that one! Anyway have been advised I need to make another appointment and have over $600 of injections for safety precaution! WTF????? I guess I should have known this but all of that didn't occur to me, you learn these things! If I go ahead with injections, I need to make another appointment.
I still have 3 different nights outside of the tour unaccounted for accommodation wise. Last weekend I actually sold my car, it's gone, (yay!!!)......good effort by me but I got a bit less than I initially hoped for! A lovely couple purchased it. Back is nearly good, did a leisurely 37k ride yesterday. However with all that's gone on, I again allowed self to 'lose the zone' for too long and feel over 80kg, unfit and fat and uncomfortable with the excess fat.
The thought almost is here to call this Thailand trip a '$4500 write off'......for now before it gets even worse. But I would feel disappointed in myself, my well travelled best mate would really think I am a loser.......lol! More importantly so would I though! It would be even more expensive to get there from NZ.
But I feel I should suck it up, go, try and take some good photos, hopefully not get sick or terrorised somehow over there and do my best to learn and enjoy. Kinda right now want a holiday where I feel 'at ease' though while in a new place ;-) lol!
'In the zone' aspiring Pip certainly operates differently to 'off track/scared/pre-occupied' Pip. However this trip IS a real headache to organise and try and chase anything up on! Even I admit I have had quite a bit on my mind of late/this year so do cut myself some slack. Some/many good decisions! Some self created chaos! But excuses to allow myself to 'get outta the zone' make it worse!
OTHER LESSON: Don't book travel too far in advance. Also YES, I am ringing insurance companies, writing letters and all! Some occasional good fashioned caring service helps! My agent is nice, I know it's not a nice issue for her to deal with but I should have refunds, all necessary documentation etc etc.......... When I have booked anything on the internet myself, not too far in advance and printed documentation out at an internet cafe myself I have never had dramas.
Gotta still laugh and smile!!! :-)
Pip :-)
January this year I booked a holiday for Thailand, leaving October 19.
I had put a deposit down, changed my itinerary a few times at the start. Then I made a decision and paid for flights, a tour, travel insurance, some transfers in full..........all up, very exciting, all confirmed, (so I thought). I had 9 months to really get fit, stay on track, be in 'the zone'. I visualised myself as a fit toned size 10, maybe some muscle and ab definition, effortlessly getting in and out of kayaks, not worrying about hanging torso flab, not puffing up the hills when trekking and managing all the bikeriding easily and feeling very confident in myself.
I put in a few decent stints this year, (as any other year) when I thought, - this is IT, finally, this yoyo behaviour is over for GOOD, I have some momentum, am making good progress! I'm in the zone, invincible, not going overboard at social occasions, really feeling able to maintain this lifestyle! But NO, alas, little day to day issues arise and back to my long and familiar yoyo cycle and all it entails........
Firstly, mid July I was informed that Kumuka has gone bust, therefore my tour was cancelled! My agent who I booked with in the city has transferred to another office, 1.5 hours away, also away from any public transport routes so I couldn't really go talk to her! She talked on phone with trying to organise me on a similar tour with another company, hopefully getting a refund soon. No action, ignored e-mails, delay in process on phone calls. THEN I decided to look and find tours myself. I was informed I couldn't get the flights refunded as other similar tours were possible. I found another what I 'deemed' suitable tour in the same dates as my flights and rang the agent to book that. It took weeks to know what was happening. Then the agent sent one of her 'friends' into the city to get me to sign documents and pay for the new tour. I did all that, but we were both in a hurry as I had another appointment elsewhere not long after. I could tell guy really didn't want to be there, he made it clear to me he was doing his friend a favour and next time: - for my information it all should have been done online! BAD service in hospitality, - lol!!! THEN I get home I look in my pack of travel documents and see a big lots of sheets about the dangers of travel in Thailand, (motivating, - NOT!) Plus info on my flights! BUT no receipt or itinerary of the new tour I had just paid for! I'm in Thailand for 19 days, the tour is for 16!
So another e-mail to agent informing her, it took her 2 weeks for her to reply, and she just said she needs my passport number, I gave it. That was a week ago, no new info so more chasing up required by me! Still no refund from original tour company Kumuka either.
Last week I thought I had better think about travel vaccinations so rang up a surgery in city and went after work today. The communication system I have to say between the receptionist, doctors and nurses was HOPELESS today! Won't go into that one! Anyway have been advised I need to make another appointment and have over $600 of injections for safety precaution! WTF????? I guess I should have known this but all of that didn't occur to me, you learn these things! If I go ahead with injections, I need to make another appointment.
I still have 3 different nights outside of the tour unaccounted for accommodation wise. Last weekend I actually sold my car, it's gone, (yay!!!)......good effort by me but I got a bit less than I initially hoped for! A lovely couple purchased it. Back is nearly good, did a leisurely 37k ride yesterday. However with all that's gone on, I again allowed self to 'lose the zone' for too long and feel over 80kg, unfit and fat and uncomfortable with the excess fat.
The thought almost is here to call this Thailand trip a '$4500 write off'......for now before it gets even worse. But I would feel disappointed in myself, my well travelled best mate would really think I am a loser.......lol! More importantly so would I though! It would be even more expensive to get there from NZ.
But I feel I should suck it up, go, try and take some good photos, hopefully not get sick or terrorised somehow over there and do my best to learn and enjoy. Kinda right now want a holiday where I feel 'at ease' though while in a new place ;-) lol!
'In the zone' aspiring Pip certainly operates differently to 'off track/scared/pre-occupied' Pip. However this trip IS a real headache to organise and try and chase anything up on! Even I admit I have had quite a bit on my mind of late/this year so do cut myself some slack. Some/many good decisions! Some self created chaos! But excuses to allow myself to 'get outta the zone' make it worse!
OTHER LESSON: Don't book travel too far in advance. Also YES, I am ringing insurance companies, writing letters and all! Some occasional good fashioned caring service helps! My agent is nice, I know it's not a nice issue for her to deal with but I should have refunds, all necessary documentation etc etc.......... When I have booked anything on the internet myself, not too far in advance and printed documentation out at an internet cafe myself I have never had dramas.
Gotta still laugh and smile!!! :-)
Pip :-)
Thursday, September 20, 2012
BLOG DIRECTION........and THOUGHTS!!!
G'day!
I have been thinking about my blog direction, - pretty much over all of this year.
When I first started this blog, - I loved my vision for it, - and was happy with my first few posts, the photo posts, updates, news and what I consider interesting tidbits of my life! I loved blogging in that sense, and was really enjoying my attempts at photography even though I was having trouble at posting edited pictures to my blog.
When I first started this blog, - I was in a body composition/weight range that I wanted to maintain and again, - thought all binge issues/wildly yoyoing weight was GONE. So I didn't want to go on my 'old' repetitive tangent about that. Instead I wanted to talk about other fitness challenges, (such as the half marathon I did just after starting this blog). I've always been passionate about fitness, health and nutritious food, a bit of wine, developing my elementary photography and travel/adventure so I wanted the tone of this blog to reflect that.
I am an open person, (I like that about myself in general), - although sometimes think I can be a little too open for my own good. I wanted this to be a fully public blog talking about stuff I would be happy for anyone to read so I linked it to my facebook profile and wanted to mention it to anyone who I met whom I considered may have been a bit interested.
However the last few months I have found my posts to be a bit repetitive on the yoyo weight thing with not a handle 'I'm happy with'. After a couple of 'glitches' turned into binges and more alcohol consumption than I was happy with over too long, - I felt embarrassed, still yearned to talk about it. So I took my blog link off facebook.
I will let you in on a little secret! One day in the next 2-3 years I wish, nah plan, nah will kick off a little fitness training business on the 'side'. I am not sure what my exact logistics or what my target market (s) will be. I am not aiming for this to be my full time job/business but I don't rule out future possibilities. This could be personal training, - either mobile, contracting at a local gym or from my home in future, or start off as a weekly fitness class in a park or at my home, or even starting by volunteering to take a weekly free 'fitness class' for any willing participants at a resthome once I get the necessary credentials. The thought is very exciting anyway!
This may work around another hospitality job or similar. Hospitality is good as it keeps up one's people skills! Perhaps I will work toward more employment in the sport/fitness/health industry or something associated.
There are a few books/blogs that I read/have read lately that I find really inspiring. The authors have been posting some really great stuff! I find different inspiring stuff leaps out at me from many different blogs and books, - but I fear if I start to list them, I will miss out someone important! ;)
I actually typed out a post a couple of days ago, but when I re-read it before posting I deemed it to sound really self indulgent and negative. In a nutshell it talked about many years of yoyoing behaviours, feeling despair about not being now where I want to be or feel I really 'need' to be but I had huge detailed descriptions and took about 5 long paragraphs to write it! Luckily I didn't post it and decided to go to bed!
But on a lasting note I will mention one book. That is my recent e-books I have read written by Michael Hill Jeweller! Why I mention him is that he really didn't put full wheels into action toward achieving his business dream till age 40. Up until then he worked hard at various stuff, but it took until then, and the catastrophy of him having his family home project that he put lots of effort into constructing.......burn down! Then being left with not much till he decided to take on his dreams! I guess most of us know about the success of Michael Hill Jeweller today, - and he is now about 74 and still fit, focussed and involved and doesn't even want to retire.....! The message I am taking from that, - is IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO START! If previous attempts weren't long lived IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!
My life is gonna take quite a few fun changes in the near future. While I don't at all aim for a 'marketing blog' as such, - I don't want it to be or turn into a whinge fest or place to vent day to day frustrations that is taken off my facebook profile. I guess a reason why I may blog frustrations is because I don't want to verbally do it with mates I see most days. With the view to starting a side business in a few years I would like to have a year or more of 'public blog posts'! I am still deciding whether over the next few months to delete/edit a few posts and re-create this..........or go for it 'third time lucky' and start a new blog. I have been giving this all a bit of thought amongst other stuff!
Other than that:
* 6 more days of work!
* 4 weeks tomoz till I fly out to Thailand!
* Back is getting better, still a little sore but can tell it's on mend, nothing major. Just took slightly longer than a week rather than a few days!
Till next time!
Pip :-)
I have been thinking about my blog direction, - pretty much over all of this year.
When I first started this blog, - I loved my vision for it, - and was happy with my first few posts, the photo posts, updates, news and what I consider interesting tidbits of my life! I loved blogging in that sense, and was really enjoying my attempts at photography even though I was having trouble at posting edited pictures to my blog.
When I first started this blog, - I was in a body composition/weight range that I wanted to maintain and again, - thought all binge issues/wildly yoyoing weight was GONE. So I didn't want to go on my 'old' repetitive tangent about that. Instead I wanted to talk about other fitness challenges, (such as the half marathon I did just after starting this blog). I've always been passionate about fitness, health and nutritious food, a bit of wine, developing my elementary photography and travel/adventure so I wanted the tone of this blog to reflect that.
I am an open person, (I like that about myself in general), - although sometimes think I can be a little too open for my own good. I wanted this to be a fully public blog talking about stuff I would be happy for anyone to read so I linked it to my facebook profile and wanted to mention it to anyone who I met whom I considered may have been a bit interested.
However the last few months I have found my posts to be a bit repetitive on the yoyo weight thing with not a handle 'I'm happy with'. After a couple of 'glitches' turned into binges and more alcohol consumption than I was happy with over too long, - I felt embarrassed, still yearned to talk about it. So I took my blog link off facebook.
I will let you in on a little secret! One day in the next 2-3 years I wish, nah plan, nah will kick off a little fitness training business on the 'side'. I am not sure what my exact logistics or what my target market (s) will be. I am not aiming for this to be my full time job/business but I don't rule out future possibilities. This could be personal training, - either mobile, contracting at a local gym or from my home in future, or start off as a weekly fitness class in a park or at my home, or even starting by volunteering to take a weekly free 'fitness class' for any willing participants at a resthome once I get the necessary credentials. The thought is very exciting anyway!
This may work around another hospitality job or similar. Hospitality is good as it keeps up one's people skills! Perhaps I will work toward more employment in the sport/fitness/health industry or something associated.
There are a few books/blogs that I read/have read lately that I find really inspiring. The authors have been posting some really great stuff! I find different inspiring stuff leaps out at me from many different blogs and books, - but I fear if I start to list them, I will miss out someone important! ;)
I actually typed out a post a couple of days ago, but when I re-read it before posting I deemed it to sound really self indulgent and negative. In a nutshell it talked about many years of yoyoing behaviours, feeling despair about not being now where I want to be or feel I really 'need' to be but I had huge detailed descriptions and took about 5 long paragraphs to write it! Luckily I didn't post it and decided to go to bed!
But on a lasting note I will mention one book. That is my recent e-books I have read written by Michael Hill Jeweller! Why I mention him is that he really didn't put full wheels into action toward achieving his business dream till age 40. Up until then he worked hard at various stuff, but it took until then, and the catastrophy of him having his family home project that he put lots of effort into constructing.......burn down! Then being left with not much till he decided to take on his dreams! I guess most of us know about the success of Michael Hill Jeweller today, - and he is now about 74 and still fit, focussed and involved and doesn't even want to retire.....! The message I am taking from that, - is IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO START! If previous attempts weren't long lived IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!
My life is gonna take quite a few fun changes in the near future. While I don't at all aim for a 'marketing blog' as such, - I don't want it to be or turn into a whinge fest or place to vent day to day frustrations that is taken off my facebook profile. I guess a reason why I may blog frustrations is because I don't want to verbally do it with mates I see most days. With the view to starting a side business in a few years I would like to have a year or more of 'public blog posts'! I am still deciding whether over the next few months to delete/edit a few posts and re-create this..........or go for it 'third time lucky' and start a new blog. I have been giving this all a bit of thought amongst other stuff!
Other than that:
* 6 more days of work!
* 4 weeks tomoz till I fly out to Thailand!
* Back is getting better, still a little sore but can tell it's on mend, nothing major. Just took slightly longer than a week rather than a few days!
Till next time!
Pip :-)
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Back Update, Life, The 'Mother' of ALL Challenges coming up.....
Hello all!
Firstly will say I have had a bit of fun lately! I had a work function on Friday evening, - the 25th anniversary for the company I work for. Therefore all employees, some ex-employees and owners from all 26 shops within the company were invited to come, party together for a few hours! Yummy cocktail snacks and drinks were supplied. Also an occasion to get dressed up! As party started at 6.30pm on Friday, I didn't really have time to go home from work, shower, get changed etc, then get back into the city. Therefore I took a spare change of clothes, shoes, makeup etc into city and paid $8 to have a shower in the city! I took my hair straighteners, but there were no powerpoints so I couldn't straighten my hair to feel fully groomed though! And of course had to carry a backpack with dirty work clothes, work shoes etc about. Great night! However a crowd of us planned to go out to the bars for a bit after the party. I wasn't allowed in......just because of my backpack! I offered to let bouncer look in bag, asked if there was a place it could be left but no..........therefore had to go home early!
Saturday was great! I attended a friends 40th, - it included a day out playing supa golf, visiting a chocolate factory, 2 local wineries for tastings and a local brewery for more tastings. We then went to the host's home for a BBQ and drinks around an outdoor fire! There were a good few of us, we hired a bus, - was a fab day! Pics of it are on facebook. Perth weather is being superb, - high 20's, bright sunshine, not a cloud in sky or no wind! I feel lucky to have great mates, - and also got to visit local places I hadn't been into to while living here! The Swan Valley in Perth is only a 20-25 min drive from here, (I have even driven there on a few occasions)! However going into wineries and breweries isn't something I have really done on my own, - instead I drove past them and went into the coffee brewery if on my own and driving haha!
Now for the back, - it is a pain in the arse and has been for a week now. Instead of walking freely at my normal pace of about 7kmph, I am now limping, looking a bit like a cripple and maybe covering 3-4kmph! I look like an older person getting up from a comfy seat! For example I need a prop, then I try one direction, - argh no, then another so I need to think a few seconds in advance before getting up from a seat, the lower and more comfy the seat, the harder it is to rise from. I feel so embarrassed about that! Particularly trying to rise from a seat on the busy train to and from work, - when I get a seat that is! Working is uncomfy, - on feet all day, bending, lifting, moving as fast as poss. I tried to talk boss into going home early on Friday, - no avail. Back feels great though, if lying down flat on it, or even sitting. As I can hobble about and sleep, I thought it would just go away by now and be back to normal but no. Ideally I would like to be granted a week or doing nothing lol! Anyway I think I will suck it up and go and see someone now, - such as a doctor. However all this is such a great expense.
Today I tried to walk the 6k to pick up car from Friday. I was hobbling with handbag at about 3-4k an hour and heard a runner come up on footpath behind me. I looked behind, got out of her way and stood on one side of footpath so I didn't disturb her running rhythm. She then asked if I was OK, - I said yes, just back was a bit sore hence the awkward weird walking but I was fine. She told me I looked really sore and asked me where I was going. I just said train station, 2-3k away at that point but I would get there fine. She pretty much insisted she took me as I looked in so much pain, (her home was only a couple of houses away!) She did take me there, she was very lovely, I did feel a bit embarrassed but there are still many kind caring people in this world! From that experience, - I decided to get it seen to. A runner picking me up cause I was a hobbling walker!
As for the 'Mother of All Challenges', - tomoz is the day, 17 Sept, I need to get my shit together for once and all. Cause of back, - training may still be a bit slow for a while. However nutrition, alcohol intake, (or less of it), time in bed must be on track/in control/in the 'zone'. Still I will be keeping off the scale, - but my day-day actions will tell me if successful or not, and over time whether fitness levels are increasing. A few weeks I should notice clothes getting looser. And I still want to become and stay binge free, - working forward, for good! Yep, I can do this! Eventually am working toward being a size 10 average, fitter than ever strength and cardio wise and maintaining the controlled lifestyle. Whether that means back at a fit 62kg or coming in with more muscle/strength at 64-66kg, - will remain to be seen!. Of course that is a good few months off. I feel fat now, bought some new clothes recently to try and feel attractive in the 'now', definitely can't afford to get any fatter, only leaner! There will be 'no diet', 'starting weigh in' or the like. Just controlled lifestyle habits I strive to keep, although the training may take a while to pick up again. Pretty much I want to adhere to being sugarfree, - just keep it to the odd social occasion to fit in in mindful small quantities.
There has it! That is all for now :-)
Pip
Firstly will say I have had a bit of fun lately! I had a work function on Friday evening, - the 25th anniversary for the company I work for. Therefore all employees, some ex-employees and owners from all 26 shops within the company were invited to come, party together for a few hours! Yummy cocktail snacks and drinks were supplied. Also an occasion to get dressed up! As party started at 6.30pm on Friday, I didn't really have time to go home from work, shower, get changed etc, then get back into the city. Therefore I took a spare change of clothes, shoes, makeup etc into city and paid $8 to have a shower in the city! I took my hair straighteners, but there were no powerpoints so I couldn't straighten my hair to feel fully groomed though! And of course had to carry a backpack with dirty work clothes, work shoes etc about. Great night! However a crowd of us planned to go out to the bars for a bit after the party. I wasn't allowed in......just because of my backpack! I offered to let bouncer look in bag, asked if there was a place it could be left but no..........therefore had to go home early!
Saturday was great! I attended a friends 40th, - it included a day out playing supa golf, visiting a chocolate factory, 2 local wineries for tastings and a local brewery for more tastings. We then went to the host's home for a BBQ and drinks around an outdoor fire! There were a good few of us, we hired a bus, - was a fab day! Pics of it are on facebook. Perth weather is being superb, - high 20's, bright sunshine, not a cloud in sky or no wind! I feel lucky to have great mates, - and also got to visit local places I hadn't been into to while living here! The Swan Valley in Perth is only a 20-25 min drive from here, (I have even driven there on a few occasions)! However going into wineries and breweries isn't something I have really done on my own, - instead I drove past them and went into the coffee brewery if on my own and driving haha!
Now for the back, - it is a pain in the arse and has been for a week now. Instead of walking freely at my normal pace of about 7kmph, I am now limping, looking a bit like a cripple and maybe covering 3-4kmph! I look like an older person getting up from a comfy seat! For example I need a prop, then I try one direction, - argh no, then another so I need to think a few seconds in advance before getting up from a seat, the lower and more comfy the seat, the harder it is to rise from. I feel so embarrassed about that! Particularly trying to rise from a seat on the busy train to and from work, - when I get a seat that is! Working is uncomfy, - on feet all day, bending, lifting, moving as fast as poss. I tried to talk boss into going home early on Friday, - no avail. Back feels great though, if lying down flat on it, or even sitting. As I can hobble about and sleep, I thought it would just go away by now and be back to normal but no. Ideally I would like to be granted a week or doing nothing lol! Anyway I think I will suck it up and go and see someone now, - such as a doctor. However all this is such a great expense.
Today I tried to walk the 6k to pick up car from Friday. I was hobbling with handbag at about 3-4k an hour and heard a runner come up on footpath behind me. I looked behind, got out of her way and stood on one side of footpath so I didn't disturb her running rhythm. She then asked if I was OK, - I said yes, just back was a bit sore hence the awkward weird walking but I was fine. She told me I looked really sore and asked me where I was going. I just said train station, 2-3k away at that point but I would get there fine. She pretty much insisted she took me as I looked in so much pain, (her home was only a couple of houses away!) She did take me there, she was very lovely, I did feel a bit embarrassed but there are still many kind caring people in this world! From that experience, - I decided to get it seen to. A runner picking me up cause I was a hobbling walker!
As for the 'Mother of All Challenges', - tomoz is the day, 17 Sept, I need to get my shit together for once and all. Cause of back, - training may still be a bit slow for a while. However nutrition, alcohol intake, (or less of it), time in bed must be on track/in control/in the 'zone'. Still I will be keeping off the scale, - but my day-day actions will tell me if successful or not, and over time whether fitness levels are increasing. A few weeks I should notice clothes getting looser. And I still want to become and stay binge free, - working forward, for good! Yep, I can do this! Eventually am working toward being a size 10 average, fitter than ever strength and cardio wise and maintaining the controlled lifestyle. Whether that means back at a fit 62kg or coming in with more muscle/strength at 64-66kg, - will remain to be seen!. Of course that is a good few months off. I feel fat now, bought some new clothes recently to try and feel attractive in the 'now', definitely can't afford to get any fatter, only leaner! There will be 'no diet', 'starting weigh in' or the like. Just controlled lifestyle habits I strive to keep, although the training may take a while to pick up again. Pretty much I want to adhere to being sugarfree, - just keep it to the odd social occasion to fit in in mindful small quantities.
There has it! That is all for now :-)
Pip
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
SORE BACK, NEW.....DRESS.....JOBS!
G'day!
I didn't mention on Sunday's post that I had a somewhat sore back. Sore enough that it restricts my freedom from powerwalking, or if I lean back a bit I get a slight 'spasm' I think feel that's uncomfortable. And if lowering myself somewhere or getting up, I'm using props a bit, and sometimes halfway through think, hmmm, pain, 'lets change direction'. In public I'm a bit concious of looking like an unfit older person as I have to grab some railing and get up slowly from a seat instead of jump out with complete freedom!l Lying completely horizontally on my back feels like magic. I am not sure exactly what caused this sore back, - but I know it happens on average about once every year or two and lasts about 5 days.
I never have an 'incident' where it suddenly becomes sore. I regularly do such stuff as cycle with a relatively heavy uneven load on my back for a reasonable or long distance. I also often pick heavier loads than most people without thinking straight off the floor, know I can become lazy with bending knees, lowering self to lift properly etc. Also when feeling slightly 'frenzied/outta the zone' my posture can be really bad I think. Also, for over 2 weeks I haven't done any disciplined weight training which is very naughty, - however I can't blame this injury on poor form from resistance work!
I left work early yesterday, it was expected to be a quieter day but in the end wasn't! Working was uncomfy, and I was prob going at 60% my normal pace if that all round. I do feel guilty putting it down as sick leave, - as I wasn't sick, just injured and ended up having quite a productive but enjoyable afternoon on my arse. So me being me, will prob deduct those few hours from my annual leave. I had a workmate and a couple of others tell me though, (them seeing me hobble about):
* 'Go to get it seen to at a doctors, demand being referred to specialist for an x-ray, it's your back, you have only one, don't worry about work till there is no pain! There may be issues that need treatment/operation/alignment, ....I know of such and such......who needed this and only known from a back x-ray'.....
* 'I have always had issues with my back, unless you regularly see a chiropractor to loosen it, various muscles/bones won't get enough oxygen. Your back is worth it, you have only one, look after it, chiro appts may not always be the answer but it's better to keep on top of it than not go. Once your back is stuffed, you lose everything sport wise'! (Enough to put shits up me a bit)
I keep hearing and know of lots of horror back stories. And at the whiff of a sore back, I am fortunate that many people have shown concern for me.
Once I went to a doc a few years ago to get docs certificate to be off work cause of a similar sore back - but they also gave me their recommendations, - tried to refer me to a specialist, told me I should have physio. But the money issues! That occasion I rang up my parents with the 'sob story'. Their ideas are:
* backs in a similar scenario to mine mend themselves, as do lots of lightly sprained knees, ankles etc. By all means google exercises etc, but don't be conned into spending money upfront for physios, scans, chiros etc upfront. Different scenario if severe pain lasts a good few weeks or if something is broken of course.
In all honesty I have always found this to be the case with me luckily!
Mostly within a few days. Once years ago I badly sprained an ankle by rolling it in a huge pothole when running , couldn't walk on it for about 3 days, then treaded lightly for a bit. A few weeks later I could jog carefully but it took a few months to reach the strength of my other ankle. About 3 months after that injury I explained my injury to a sports physiology tutor and she told me it would never heal fully,.....but it did very shortly after.
With my 'sore back' at the level it is, the luxury would be having this entire week off work, not moving much. However the 'reality' is working, sucking it up, being a bit careful, even if I only operate at maybe 70% normal speed all round. Either way, I think recovery time would be about the same.
Oh, I bought a dress from Veronika Maine! A nice one, (size 14) that fits now, suits shape as best as poss atm, has the potential to be taken in, (not that I have ever done that). Straight after work I went looking. I felt a slob in the dressing rooms seeing myself in dirty workclothes, (after working in food, cleaning all day, hair under a cap). I saw myself from all angles as the angles in Myer show us. Had no makeup, and pimples were more visible than I thought, I won't even get onto stomach area.
In general, secretly I think I can be quite attractive if I do hair such as straighten and comb it, wear nice natural makeup, concealer, mascara, eyeliner and wear decent clothes. Optimally I would like to look leaner and more toned, (particularly mid section right now). I deem best features to be arms, shoulders and legs below my knees, other than that smile! But I did look like a slob today at all angles in that mirror in work gear, straight after work!
So there we go!
Pip :-)
I didn't mention on Sunday's post that I had a somewhat sore back. Sore enough that it restricts my freedom from powerwalking, or if I lean back a bit I get a slight 'spasm' I think feel that's uncomfortable. And if lowering myself somewhere or getting up, I'm using props a bit, and sometimes halfway through think, hmmm, pain, 'lets change direction'. In public I'm a bit concious of looking like an unfit older person as I have to grab some railing and get up slowly from a seat instead of jump out with complete freedom!l Lying completely horizontally on my back feels like magic. I am not sure exactly what caused this sore back, - but I know it happens on average about once every year or two and lasts about 5 days.
I never have an 'incident' where it suddenly becomes sore. I regularly do such stuff as cycle with a relatively heavy uneven load on my back for a reasonable or long distance. I also often pick heavier loads than most people without thinking straight off the floor, know I can become lazy with bending knees, lowering self to lift properly etc. Also when feeling slightly 'frenzied/outta the zone' my posture can be really bad I think. Also, for over 2 weeks I haven't done any disciplined weight training which is very naughty, - however I can't blame this injury on poor form from resistance work!
I left work early yesterday, it was expected to be a quieter day but in the end wasn't! Working was uncomfy, and I was prob going at 60% my normal pace if that all round. I do feel guilty putting it down as sick leave, - as I wasn't sick, just injured and ended up having quite a productive but enjoyable afternoon on my arse. So me being me, will prob deduct those few hours from my annual leave. I had a workmate and a couple of others tell me though, (them seeing me hobble about):
* 'Go to get it seen to at a doctors, demand being referred to specialist for an x-ray, it's your back, you have only one, don't worry about work till there is no pain! There may be issues that need treatment/operation/alignment, ....I know of such and such......who needed this and only known from a back x-ray'.....
* 'I have always had issues with my back, unless you regularly see a chiropractor to loosen it, various muscles/bones won't get enough oxygen. Your back is worth it, you have only one, look after it, chiro appts may not always be the answer but it's better to keep on top of it than not go. Once your back is stuffed, you lose everything sport wise'! (Enough to put shits up me a bit)
I keep hearing and know of lots of horror back stories. And at the whiff of a sore back, I am fortunate that many people have shown concern for me.
Once I went to a doc a few years ago to get docs certificate to be off work cause of a similar sore back - but they also gave me their recommendations, - tried to refer me to a specialist, told me I should have physio. But the money issues! That occasion I rang up my parents with the 'sob story'. Their ideas are:
* backs in a similar scenario to mine mend themselves, as do lots of lightly sprained knees, ankles etc. By all means google exercises etc, but don't be conned into spending money upfront for physios, scans, chiros etc upfront. Different scenario if severe pain lasts a good few weeks or if something is broken of course.
In all honesty I have always found this to be the case with me luckily!
Mostly within a few days. Once years ago I badly sprained an ankle by rolling it in a huge pothole when running , couldn't walk on it for about 3 days, then treaded lightly for a bit. A few weeks later I could jog carefully but it took a few months to reach the strength of my other ankle. About 3 months after that injury I explained my injury to a sports physiology tutor and she told me it would never heal fully,.....but it did very shortly after.
With my 'sore back' at the level it is, the luxury would be having this entire week off work, not moving much. However the 'reality' is working, sucking it up, being a bit careful, even if I only operate at maybe 70% normal speed all round. Either way, I think recovery time would be about the same.
Oh, I bought a dress from Veronika Maine! A nice one, (size 14) that fits now, suits shape as best as poss atm, has the potential to be taken in, (not that I have ever done that). Straight after work I went looking. I felt a slob in the dressing rooms seeing myself in dirty workclothes, (after working in food, cleaning all day, hair under a cap). I saw myself from all angles as the angles in Myer show us. Had no makeup, and pimples were more visible than I thought, I won't even get onto stomach area.
In general, secretly I think I can be quite attractive if I do hair such as straighten and comb it, wear nice natural makeup, concealer, mascara, eyeliner and wear decent clothes. Optimally I would like to look leaner and more toned, (particularly mid section right now). I deem best features to be arms, shoulders and legs below my knees, other than that smile! But I did look like a slob today at all angles in that mirror in work gear, straight after work!
So there we go!
Pip :-)
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Weekend Update and F**K the scales!!!
G'day again! Hope it's been a great weekend for everyone! I have had fab weather here, paper said temp was to hit 29 degrees today, - I think it may have, it was fantastic/awesome!
I watched both footy games, - awesome displays from Fremantle Dockers last night and West Coast Eagles today! Finals footy is fantastic, - exhilerating to watch! I'm making the most of this as next year I won't be able to watch the footy, will only be able to go online to check up the scores and write ups on the games, players and news. Since I have lived in WA since Jan 2005, - I have gotten into enjoying the footy, being inspired by the players and checking out their hot bods as well!
BTW I have lived in QLD from March - Oct 2000, then again from April 2002 - Sept 2003. In 2001 I lived and worked in Queenstown NZ, from Sept 2003 - Jan 2005 I worked in Queenstown and Arrowtown NZ.
As for the scales, - no I haven't got on them since my last post or for infact, - 2 to 3 weeks I think. Going by my clothes and behaviours I would expect to see a number which really doesn't please me. It's not the scale number that won't please me, - it is also my behaviours, current 'look', actual fitness level etc amongst much else. But for some reason, - seeing the result on the scales could actually bring on tears, - not just frustration.
So,.......one may ask, - 'What am I going to do about it'?
I have decided to do pretty much the same as I was doing in the 29 day challenge with just a couple of small differences. The only differences are:
* Sugarfree objectives which applied to my 29 day challenge still apply, - only difference is there are occasionally parties and social situations where hosts make special efforts to plate up special cakes or desserts. Not partaking, (when everyone else is) feels awkward. This isn't a regular occurance and when it happens,I like to practice moderation and go with the flow, - however after party finishes, I need to get straight back to on track, sugarfree etc.
* At least 4 alcohol free days a week, with only ever drinking on a 'school night', - (ie an evening with work the next day) if there is an important party. Any nights I DO drink, - I have limits which I must keep within.
* The MAJOR difference though............................f***king off the scales!
Instead 'progress' will be measured by:
- how I stick to 'day to day' objectives, (whether I feel in a 'zone' that's going somewhere positive or in 'excuse making mode').......that one can start being achieved instantly. Making controlled concious choices rather than those........'I shouldn't but.........' ones which delay the inevitable!
- Weeks where training objectives are ticked off feel great, - go for those!
- I know fitness performances don't improve in a straight line, - but if the trends feel in the right direction, - that is fantastic.
- Unfortunately fat loss and re-body shaping needs to be a priority yet again, - for health reasons, to feel more attractive and achieve better fitness standards and to fit clothes. By looking in the mirror going by garments of clothes I know if I am making positive inroads here. I don't expect to see any major progress for 4 weeks here.
Basically the reason I want to f**k the scales off is, - I know I am lots fatter than I want to be, I know have gained a few kg at lightening speed in the last couple of weeks and mentally don't want to go through the same old slog with the scales just so soon to get rid of it yet again!
I would love to change some lifestyle patterns, action patterns and beliefs for life.
In the past if 'on track', I generally got on some scales at least once a week, often lots more. If 'outta the zone' and I know actions are heading in wrong direction and I'm wasting 'time', - then I can stay clear of them for months!
I'd love to make a behavioural change of making long term lifestyle changes without being a slave to the scale! I'm sure I will get on them at some point, (like an assessment to do with my course next year) but can't see any reason to this year step on a set of scales!
3 weeks of work left!
Talk soon!
Pip
I watched both footy games, - awesome displays from Fremantle Dockers last night and West Coast Eagles today! Finals footy is fantastic, - exhilerating to watch! I'm making the most of this as next year I won't be able to watch the footy, will only be able to go online to check up the scores and write ups on the games, players and news. Since I have lived in WA since Jan 2005, - I have gotten into enjoying the footy, being inspired by the players and checking out their hot bods as well!
BTW I have lived in QLD from March - Oct 2000, then again from April 2002 - Sept 2003. In 2001 I lived and worked in Queenstown NZ, from Sept 2003 - Jan 2005 I worked in Queenstown and Arrowtown NZ.
As for the scales, - no I haven't got on them since my last post or for infact, - 2 to 3 weeks I think. Going by my clothes and behaviours I would expect to see a number which really doesn't please me. It's not the scale number that won't please me, - it is also my behaviours, current 'look', actual fitness level etc amongst much else. But for some reason, - seeing the result on the scales could actually bring on tears, - not just frustration.
So,.......one may ask, - 'What am I going to do about it'?
I have decided to do pretty much the same as I was doing in the 29 day challenge with just a couple of small differences. The only differences are:
* Sugarfree objectives which applied to my 29 day challenge still apply, - only difference is there are occasionally parties and social situations where hosts make special efforts to plate up special cakes or desserts. Not partaking, (when everyone else is) feels awkward. This isn't a regular occurance and when it happens,I like to practice moderation and go with the flow, - however after party finishes, I need to get straight back to on track, sugarfree etc.
* At least 4 alcohol free days a week, with only ever drinking on a 'school night', - (ie an evening with work the next day) if there is an important party. Any nights I DO drink, - I have limits which I must keep within.
* The MAJOR difference though............................f***king off the scales!
Instead 'progress' will be measured by:
- how I stick to 'day to day' objectives, (whether I feel in a 'zone' that's going somewhere positive or in 'excuse making mode').......that one can start being achieved instantly. Making controlled concious choices rather than those........'I shouldn't but.........' ones which delay the inevitable!
- Weeks where training objectives are ticked off feel great, - go for those!
- I know fitness performances don't improve in a straight line, - but if the trends feel in the right direction, - that is fantastic.
- Unfortunately fat loss and re-body shaping needs to be a priority yet again, - for health reasons, to feel more attractive and achieve better fitness standards and to fit clothes. By looking in the mirror going by garments of clothes I know if I am making positive inroads here. I don't expect to see any major progress for 4 weeks here.
Basically the reason I want to f**k the scales off is, - I know I am lots fatter than I want to be, I know have gained a few kg at lightening speed in the last couple of weeks and mentally don't want to go through the same old slog with the scales just so soon to get rid of it yet again!
I would love to change some lifestyle patterns, action patterns and beliefs for life.
In the past if 'on track', I generally got on some scales at least once a week, often lots more. If 'outta the zone' and I know actions are heading in wrong direction and I'm wasting 'time', - then I can stay clear of them for months!
I'd love to make a behavioural change of making long term lifestyle changes without being a slave to the scale! I'm sure I will get on them at some point, (like an assessment to do with my course next year) but can't see any reason to this year step on a set of scales!
3 weeks of work left!
Talk soon!
Pip
Thursday, September 6, 2012
CAR SALE SCAMS......DECANDENT CARAME'L!......SLEEP DEPRIVATION........HOLIDAY UPDATE!
G'day!
Hmmm, well it's fair to say I have 'felt' busy, constantly 'behind' the ape-ball, (whatever that is) and outta the zone!
There are a few reasons outta my control for me feeling like this, (hard luck), but in all honesty lots of reasons are in my control!
OK, - start with car scams! Last weekend I was pleased with the fact I took on a project to drive somewhere slightly new and out of my normal 'narrow rut of driving'. I am a nervous driver, am very particular about roads I choose, and unless it is a very quiet road with just one lane on each side of the road, I am also picky about the time of the day I drive! Therefore going somewhere slightly 'new' or out of the way gives me a slight feeling of accomplishment! Anyway last Sunday morning, I drove to a bigger service station for the first time, used the commercial vacumn cleaner to vacumn the inside of my car, then I went through the car wash going for the top grade wash, polish and wax for $18! Then drove home, took some pics of the car. Then headed to a party on Sunday arvo.
On Monday evening after work I decided to post some ads to sell my car online. I started with the Quokka paper, couldn't work out the activation code process so gave up there! Then I tried www.gumtree.com.au, filled out all details about the car, after a bit I worked out how to downsize my photos so I could include them in my ad. I put up 6 photos! THEN, just as I was about to post, I lost the whole thing, - waste of a good couple of hours work! Very frustrating as it was bedtime! But determined Pip didn't let that stop her, so I tried again and finally got the ad posted! Felt slightly accomplished then and learnt new stuff in the process.
The next morning on my break at work I checked my smartphone to see if I had received any enquiries, and received 2! They both sounded normally casual, maybe Australian, I listed my car at a particular price but said it was negotiable in the ad! Both enquiries asked my 'firm price'. I decided to lower my negotiable price by $400 and responded to both saying I can 'do the car for that'. Their initial messages came to me via SMS, but they asked if I can please respond to their e-mail addresses and listed them, which I did.
The first response then came back to me saying the price and condition was fine, he would like to pay via PayPal, he is working overseas and would unfortunately not be able to come, view the car, wants to claim it for a holiday. He talked of his 'agent' organising a courier to come, pick car up from mine and taking it to wherever he wants to take it. I was feeling a little hesitant at this stage, but told him the car is his when I see the funds. Next he came back with garbage on how he is adding an extra $1050 to my asking price and how he would really like me to forward $950 to his 'agent' in England as that covers the courier cost. The other $100 is the 'transaction processing fee'. All said via e-mail in broken English I may add! We did a record day at work within the 2 years the current owner has had the business so that was all our focus yesterday. When I got to my phone after work this car 'guy' said he had sent the money for car PLUS $1050 to my account, would have PayPal e-mails notifying me of this, the money had left HIS account and can't be returned. For the money to reach MY account, I had to firstly forward $950 of my money via some money fund to England! THEN apparently I could access his money and he could organise details about getting the car! I did have a feeling it could be a scam, but I was concerned it wasn't, and he had really lost his money. He wanted prompt replies from me, expressed concern about his money etc. I annoyed lots of people with this story and my sister and her hubby were very helpful! Bloody hell I was stressed though, felt like a right dork and with the busy work days of late, record day at work yesterday, late nights, early mornings, things on my mind I felt tired, stupid and hopeless! And I had another similar sounding car enquiry first up e-mail from a different address and ignored it. The person now knows I know it's a scam, so the e-mails have backed off!
OK, as for holiday, I decided to try another phone call to ring travel agent. I still have flights, no evidence of funds from Kumuka, (who went bust). I booked original trip back in Feb! I still was undecided about whether to go on another similar tour which ended up sounding better but at a similar price to the original, - or just stay at a cheap resort in Thailand for the 18 days to try/save money or to not go! (I didn't want to not go). I did ring up my travel insurance company to try get a refund on flights and original tour. However Travel insurance only covers illness/accidents and lost baggage etc WHILE overseas, not cancellation of tours, that can only be done via the travel compensation fund which is already in process by my travel agent.
I will now confess the only reason why I'm not quite as excited about Thailand as I was.........was that in Feb when I booked it, I visualised going there as a fit, toned, athletic size 10 person who effortlessly looked good in a bikini, who prioritised keeping up a certain standard of fitness, (kinda in top 20% in my age group) and someone who had no food issues that concerned me but what I considered a healthy general standard! I had put in good bursts of activity to achieve this, just kept on undoing it which seems to have always been my way after I create some momentum.
Even when I started that 29 day recent challenge I knew I had rapidly put on some kg fast, thought there was a 50/50 chance I'd see 80kg. So seeing that 81kg on day 4 of that challenge really peeved me! I knew I was never going to see 62kg or even 68kg by time I hit Thailand then. I had just hoped to carry on the good work from my 29 day challenge, (I did so for a further week). So 5 weeks after the 81kg read, I saw 75.5 and felt a good bit fitter, noticed a bit more definition, but still was 32% body fat, knew I still wanted to get quite a bit leaner and fitter!
Well, the 75.5kg was a couple of weeks ago. If I was still on track/in the 'zone' and about 74 odd I would be happy enough about that. I had come to the conclusion if I stayed on track, in control, made sure parties didn't turn my habits outta control beyond the party, I would be satisfied to feel fit, in control going to Thailand at between 70-72kg odd. Magda, when I saw you in Adelaide I remember being 71.8 and actually if I am under 72kg, have been on track for a while, I am generally size 12 and feel 'reasonably attractive'. Top limit for the BMI read thing to be 25.0 or under is 72.5kg I think. I decided to aim and would have felt content if I had achieved that for Thailand.
But these last 2 weeks I have felt stressed, tired, under the pump, have binged, made friends with caramel anything, chocolate, cheese, wine, icecream, leftover shit food at work, just can't seem to get enough. Dunno what it is about carame'l! That means caramel sauce by the shitload, any icecream or gelato flavours with a strong caramel ripple and caramel sauce on top, caramel cheesecake, caramel mudcake, caramel 'slice', iced 'caramels', - new to the market! Thickshakes make with my favourite caramello type icecream, caramello chocolate! I like my hair colour even, - dark chocolate base with caramel coloured foils haha! After the carame'l/choc behaviour, came the 'cheese indulgence train' to get rid of that after sweet taste. Then with only 5 hours in bed, maybe having had added wine to hte mix the prior day, I wake with a 'junk food hangover/queazy stomach' that my mental belief tells me that only overly savoury brekkie food and lots of coffee is going to enable me to be as fast as poss, productive at work etc! All power of the mind of course! Going by how I feel, and my behaviours, I feel like that 75.5 has turned to somewhere around or at least 80 again these last 2 weeks but seeing that would seriously crush me right now! I have been active with not being in bed, racing about at work like a mad thing. But as part of the Ultra-ironman, the only thing I can record is an 18k bikeride on Saturday.
6 weeks tomorrow I depart for Thailand! 3 more days tomorrow will be my last day at work! Seriously under 72kg in 6 weeks is prob a too tough ask for how I want to go about it. I don't want to lose hard earnt muscle weight or create unsustainable habits in the lifestyle I want to ge in by losing it too fast to get there! I had further probs with itineraries/receipts which stressed me out yesterday when I was already stressed by the car scam nonsense but that takes forever to explain. But I think it will get sorted, - just hard work it feels!
So, - I have decided probably the best plan for me is for a change, - NOT weigh self for a good while, pretty much get back to a similar resistance/running/cycle routine that I was doing aiming for fitness progression on all fronts. Will accept I may have taken a couple of steps back but can still train hard. This training idea takes about 7 hours a week which I should be able to manage now. I do have a few parties on the horizon which will be fun but I still won't fit the clothes I would love to wear! Anyway the idea is to stay in control, (to a social level I'm happy with) at these social events, and be straight back on track after so I stay in control with behaviours I don't regret! I then can leave for Thailand feeling that I have been on track for 6 weeks, fitter than now, (I was getting quite fit so shouldn't be too unfit), hopefully a few fat kg less with clothes fitting better but if nothing fits or is deemed suitable I can purchase a couple of suitable garments from K-Mart. Also as a single traveller to feel safe, respect culture and not attract attention from unwanted people, it's prob best to wear loose coverup shirts and longer shorts than skimpy bikini type attire saying 'look at my hot bod' anyway.
With work feeling so busy, and too little time in bed till alarm, I am finding it all a struggle. But I admit lots of it is due to organisational planning, just finding the time to curl up, clear schedule, refocus etc is hard.........but I guess this is the real world, not earth shattering problems and to better myself for good, I need to choose a better way to deal with day to day annoyances/issues etc haha! I do know, I have a choice with how I act! I do also know, 'unwanted' urges die if we don't act on them. When 'tired'......a common excuse if 'can't be bothered', 'tomorrow', 'next week', 'next month' but it is terrible putting our 'ideal' life/behaviours on hold cause we are on a downer, tired, stressed or whatever! I do credit also I LOVE WA, Perth, - will miss it! I have created quite a bit here. NZ will be exciting, I see lots of opportunities, I just want to feel I give them a good shot to a level I am happy with when there, - not cloud it be behaviours of the last 2 weeks!
If anyone is still reading by the way, I applaud you! While I was 'almost' sucked in scam wise, I can be stubborn and determined. I know these are common issues, 2 glasses of wine tonight have put me in a good mood for now - lol, maybe expressed in how I wrote this! I love to be positive but am also fully about honesty too :-) And with everything happening, I NEED to stop spending excess money!
Till next time,
Pip :-)
Hmmm, well it's fair to say I have 'felt' busy, constantly 'behind' the ape-ball, (whatever that is) and outta the zone!
There are a few reasons outta my control for me feeling like this, (hard luck), but in all honesty lots of reasons are in my control!
OK, - start with car scams! Last weekend I was pleased with the fact I took on a project to drive somewhere slightly new and out of my normal 'narrow rut of driving'. I am a nervous driver, am very particular about roads I choose, and unless it is a very quiet road with just one lane on each side of the road, I am also picky about the time of the day I drive! Therefore going somewhere slightly 'new' or out of the way gives me a slight feeling of accomplishment! Anyway last Sunday morning, I drove to a bigger service station for the first time, used the commercial vacumn cleaner to vacumn the inside of my car, then I went through the car wash going for the top grade wash, polish and wax for $18! Then drove home, took some pics of the car. Then headed to a party on Sunday arvo.
On Monday evening after work I decided to post some ads to sell my car online. I started with the Quokka paper, couldn't work out the activation code process so gave up there! Then I tried www.gumtree.com.au, filled out all details about the car, after a bit I worked out how to downsize my photos so I could include them in my ad. I put up 6 photos! THEN, just as I was about to post, I lost the whole thing, - waste of a good couple of hours work! Very frustrating as it was bedtime! But determined Pip didn't let that stop her, so I tried again and finally got the ad posted! Felt slightly accomplished then and learnt new stuff in the process.
The next morning on my break at work I checked my smartphone to see if I had received any enquiries, and received 2! They both sounded normally casual, maybe Australian, I listed my car at a particular price but said it was negotiable in the ad! Both enquiries asked my 'firm price'. I decided to lower my negotiable price by $400 and responded to both saying I can 'do the car for that'. Their initial messages came to me via SMS, but they asked if I can please respond to their e-mail addresses and listed them, which I did.
The first response then came back to me saying the price and condition was fine, he would like to pay via PayPal, he is working overseas and would unfortunately not be able to come, view the car, wants to claim it for a holiday. He talked of his 'agent' organising a courier to come, pick car up from mine and taking it to wherever he wants to take it. I was feeling a little hesitant at this stage, but told him the car is his when I see the funds. Next he came back with garbage on how he is adding an extra $1050 to my asking price and how he would really like me to forward $950 to his 'agent' in England as that covers the courier cost. The other $100 is the 'transaction processing fee'. All said via e-mail in broken English I may add! We did a record day at work within the 2 years the current owner has had the business so that was all our focus yesterday. When I got to my phone after work this car 'guy' said he had sent the money for car PLUS $1050 to my account, would have PayPal e-mails notifying me of this, the money had left HIS account and can't be returned. For the money to reach MY account, I had to firstly forward $950 of my money via some money fund to England! THEN apparently I could access his money and he could organise details about getting the car! I did have a feeling it could be a scam, but I was concerned it wasn't, and he had really lost his money. He wanted prompt replies from me, expressed concern about his money etc. I annoyed lots of people with this story and my sister and her hubby were very helpful! Bloody hell I was stressed though, felt like a right dork and with the busy work days of late, record day at work yesterday, late nights, early mornings, things on my mind I felt tired, stupid and hopeless! And I had another similar sounding car enquiry first up e-mail from a different address and ignored it. The person now knows I know it's a scam, so the e-mails have backed off!
OK, as for holiday, I decided to try another phone call to ring travel agent. I still have flights, no evidence of funds from Kumuka, (who went bust). I booked original trip back in Feb! I still was undecided about whether to go on another similar tour which ended up sounding better but at a similar price to the original, - or just stay at a cheap resort in Thailand for the 18 days to try/save money or to not go! (I didn't want to not go). I did ring up my travel insurance company to try get a refund on flights and original tour. However Travel insurance only covers illness/accidents and lost baggage etc WHILE overseas, not cancellation of tours, that can only be done via the travel compensation fund which is already in process by my travel agent.
I will now confess the only reason why I'm not quite as excited about Thailand as I was.........was that in Feb when I booked it, I visualised going there as a fit, toned, athletic size 10 person who effortlessly looked good in a bikini, who prioritised keeping up a certain standard of fitness, (kinda in top 20% in my age group) and someone who had no food issues that concerned me but what I considered a healthy general standard! I had put in good bursts of activity to achieve this, just kept on undoing it which seems to have always been my way after I create some momentum.
Even when I started that 29 day recent challenge I knew I had rapidly put on some kg fast, thought there was a 50/50 chance I'd see 80kg. So seeing that 81kg on day 4 of that challenge really peeved me! I knew I was never going to see 62kg or even 68kg by time I hit Thailand then. I had just hoped to carry on the good work from my 29 day challenge, (I did so for a further week). So 5 weeks after the 81kg read, I saw 75.5 and felt a good bit fitter, noticed a bit more definition, but still was 32% body fat, knew I still wanted to get quite a bit leaner and fitter!
Well, the 75.5kg was a couple of weeks ago. If I was still on track/in the 'zone' and about 74 odd I would be happy enough about that. I had come to the conclusion if I stayed on track, in control, made sure parties didn't turn my habits outta control beyond the party, I would be satisfied to feel fit, in control going to Thailand at between 70-72kg odd. Magda, when I saw you in Adelaide I remember being 71.8 and actually if I am under 72kg, have been on track for a while, I am generally size 12 and feel 'reasonably attractive'. Top limit for the BMI read thing to be 25.0 or under is 72.5kg I think. I decided to aim and would have felt content if I had achieved that for Thailand.
But these last 2 weeks I have felt stressed, tired, under the pump, have binged, made friends with caramel anything, chocolate, cheese, wine, icecream, leftover shit food at work, just can't seem to get enough. Dunno what it is about carame'l! That means caramel sauce by the shitload, any icecream or gelato flavours with a strong caramel ripple and caramel sauce on top, caramel cheesecake, caramel mudcake, caramel 'slice', iced 'caramels', - new to the market! Thickshakes make with my favourite caramello type icecream, caramello chocolate! I like my hair colour even, - dark chocolate base with caramel coloured foils haha! After the carame'l/choc behaviour, came the 'cheese indulgence train' to get rid of that after sweet taste. Then with only 5 hours in bed, maybe having had added wine to hte mix the prior day, I wake with a 'junk food hangover/queazy stomach' that my mental belief tells me that only overly savoury brekkie food and lots of coffee is going to enable me to be as fast as poss, productive at work etc! All power of the mind of course! Going by how I feel, and my behaviours, I feel like that 75.5 has turned to somewhere around or at least 80 again these last 2 weeks but seeing that would seriously crush me right now! I have been active with not being in bed, racing about at work like a mad thing. But as part of the Ultra-ironman, the only thing I can record is an 18k bikeride on Saturday.
6 weeks tomorrow I depart for Thailand! 3 more days tomorrow will be my last day at work! Seriously under 72kg in 6 weeks is prob a too tough ask for how I want to go about it. I don't want to lose hard earnt muscle weight or create unsustainable habits in the lifestyle I want to ge in by losing it too fast to get there! I had further probs with itineraries/receipts which stressed me out yesterday when I was already stressed by the car scam nonsense but that takes forever to explain. But I think it will get sorted, - just hard work it feels!
So, - I have decided probably the best plan for me is for a change, - NOT weigh self for a good while, pretty much get back to a similar resistance/running/cycle routine that I was doing aiming for fitness progression on all fronts. Will accept I may have taken a couple of steps back but can still train hard. This training idea takes about 7 hours a week which I should be able to manage now. I do have a few parties on the horizon which will be fun but I still won't fit the clothes I would love to wear! Anyway the idea is to stay in control, (to a social level I'm happy with) at these social events, and be straight back on track after so I stay in control with behaviours I don't regret! I then can leave for Thailand feeling that I have been on track for 6 weeks, fitter than now, (I was getting quite fit so shouldn't be too unfit), hopefully a few fat kg less with clothes fitting better but if nothing fits or is deemed suitable I can purchase a couple of suitable garments from K-Mart. Also as a single traveller to feel safe, respect culture and not attract attention from unwanted people, it's prob best to wear loose coverup shirts and longer shorts than skimpy bikini type attire saying 'look at my hot bod' anyway.
With work feeling so busy, and too little time in bed till alarm, I am finding it all a struggle. But I admit lots of it is due to organisational planning, just finding the time to curl up, clear schedule, refocus etc is hard.........but I guess this is the real world, not earth shattering problems and to better myself for good, I need to choose a better way to deal with day to day annoyances/issues etc haha! I do know, I have a choice with how I act! I do also know, 'unwanted' urges die if we don't act on them. When 'tired'......a common excuse if 'can't be bothered', 'tomorrow', 'next week', 'next month' but it is terrible putting our 'ideal' life/behaviours on hold cause we are on a downer, tired, stressed or whatever! I do credit also I LOVE WA, Perth, - will miss it! I have created quite a bit here. NZ will be exciting, I see lots of opportunities, I just want to feel I give them a good shot to a level I am happy with when there, - not cloud it be behaviours of the last 2 weeks!
If anyone is still reading by the way, I applaud you! While I was 'almost' sucked in scam wise, I can be stubborn and determined. I know these are common issues, 2 glasses of wine tonight have put me in a good mood for now - lol, maybe expressed in how I wrote this! I love to be positive but am also fully about honesty too :-) And with everything happening, I NEED to stop spending excess money!
Till next time,
Pip :-)
Thursday, August 30, 2012
365 DAY ULTRA IRONMAN CHALLENGE.........
Hello, bet that title got your attention!
The idea got started as PT, Kat Millar announced a challenge on her website. Mainly the aim was to pick something achievable to all, and to get as many people involved as possible.
So she advertised the challenge as 1000k run or walk in a year challenge! That is approximately 3k a day or 20k a week average. Pretty doable hey? The idea is to set a longer term goal so followers can get into the habit of 'consistency'. Also as it's a long term task, done with an online team of others, there should be a sense of 'online community fulfillment' at the end, - finishing something we started!
So yes, I'm up for the running bit. I can do it either on the treadmill or outside with my garmin watch! I will use this challenge for long runs, 5k 'time trials', - still aiming to bust 25 mins outdoors! Lots of flat ground without getting interupted by traffic to give me the best chance of attaining that in NZ, - just may have Southerly Antarctic winds to battle with though! I'm thinking of the running leg as being from Sydney, (where Kat lives), to northern Brisbane lol! I have always ADORED Noosa and for some reason have always felt as proud as punch if I get 24k running in a week! Noosa is about 200k north of Brisbane, - so I'm secretly aiming for 24k running average a week and to make it from Sydney to Noosa in a year, (of course a wine or even better a small party or night out at maybe Barluca, Invercargill NZ when I 'reach Noosa'!)
To add to this 'challenge' for myself.........who is wanting to be involved in some triathlon........I decided to attain 50km of swimming in a year, - average of 1km a week of pool laps with 2 weeks off. Initially I thought 100k, - but do realise that next year will be very busy with study, work and training and I want to do quite alot of resistance work as well. 1k a week or 2k a fortnight average swimming will be a niggly little goal, but I do want to improve form, skill and speed here.
As for the cycling component, - it took a bit to come up with a figure but I set the task of 1450km in a year. Just under 30k a week average on the bike! If the weather outside looks completely hopeless I am going to go along with the fact that an RPM 45 min class = 15km. (I have read it is more like 19-20) but if I consider I get a good sweat up and work near my max I will count it as 15km. With longer daylight hours plus better weather in summer I am aiming to clock up more summer km to give me less of a job to do over next winter where I will spend lots more time doing weight training. Also before I leave Perth I hope to clock a few hundred km!
So all in all, - it will be an Ultra Ironman, - 50/1450/1000 to equal 2500km in total. I just googled the distance to drive from Sydney - Port Douglas, (another beaut tropical party secluded hangout I have only spent 3 hours in but would like more time in) and the distance is listed as 2541km.........lets do this!
The more the merrier with this challenge! If anyone else would like to run/walk 1000k in a year or similar, come, join! We are kicking off 1 Sept 2012, - needing to reach our destinations by 1 Sept 2013! By the way I just checked the straight flight distance from Invercargill to Sydney, - it was listed as 2005km! I am a maths 'nerd' when I wanna be!
The idea got started as PT, Kat Millar announced a challenge on her website. Mainly the aim was to pick something achievable to all, and to get as many people involved as possible.
So she advertised the challenge as 1000k run or walk in a year challenge! That is approximately 3k a day or 20k a week average. Pretty doable hey? The idea is to set a longer term goal so followers can get into the habit of 'consistency'. Also as it's a long term task, done with an online team of others, there should be a sense of 'online community fulfillment' at the end, - finishing something we started!
So yes, I'm up for the running bit. I can do it either on the treadmill or outside with my garmin watch! I will use this challenge for long runs, 5k 'time trials', - still aiming to bust 25 mins outdoors! Lots of flat ground without getting interupted by traffic to give me the best chance of attaining that in NZ, - just may have Southerly Antarctic winds to battle with though! I'm thinking of the running leg as being from Sydney, (where Kat lives), to northern Brisbane lol! I have always ADORED Noosa and for some reason have always felt as proud as punch if I get 24k running in a week! Noosa is about 200k north of Brisbane, - so I'm secretly aiming for 24k running average a week and to make it from Sydney to Noosa in a year, (of course a wine or even better a small party or night out at maybe Barluca, Invercargill NZ when I 'reach Noosa'!)
To add to this 'challenge' for myself.........who is wanting to be involved in some triathlon........I decided to attain 50km of swimming in a year, - average of 1km a week of pool laps with 2 weeks off. Initially I thought 100k, - but do realise that next year will be very busy with study, work and training and I want to do quite alot of resistance work as well. 1k a week or 2k a fortnight average swimming will be a niggly little goal, but I do want to improve form, skill and speed here.
As for the cycling component, - it took a bit to come up with a figure but I set the task of 1450km in a year. Just under 30k a week average on the bike! If the weather outside looks completely hopeless I am going to go along with the fact that an RPM 45 min class = 15km. (I have read it is more like 19-20) but if I consider I get a good sweat up and work near my max I will count it as 15km. With longer daylight hours plus better weather in summer I am aiming to clock up more summer km to give me less of a job to do over next winter where I will spend lots more time doing weight training. Also before I leave Perth I hope to clock a few hundred km!
So all in all, - it will be an Ultra Ironman, - 50/1450/1000 to equal 2500km in total. I just googled the distance to drive from Sydney - Port Douglas, (another beaut tropical party secluded hangout I have only spent 3 hours in but would like more time in) and the distance is listed as 2541km.........lets do this!
The more the merrier with this challenge! If anyone else would like to run/walk 1000k in a year or similar, come, join! We are kicking off 1 Sept 2012, - needing to reach our destinations by 1 Sept 2013! By the way I just checked the straight flight distance from Invercargill to Sydney, - it was listed as 2005km! I am a maths 'nerd' when I wanna be!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
SLIGHTLY EDITED PLAN FOR BINGE-FREE FUTURE!
Hello again!
You know what! As for the 'binge' that started on Sunday, - I felt SO disappointed! I had done the 29 day challenge meeting targets on all fronts, I had stayed bingefree for another week beyond that, - I had a few challenges and less sleep over the last week but nothing too major. The 'binge' started from going over my alcohol 'allowance' this time.
I had hoped this was FINALLY the end of all bingeing for me, that I had turned the leaf for good. As I had several times before, - I had a secret confident feeling that this IS it. I had read Kathryn Hansen's wonderful e-book, 'Brain Over Binge', it made sense. However, I also had the mindset that, - a binge can form by giving into a silly fleeting urge, can feel damaging, giving in would disappoint me, I would then have to deal with all the old 'urges/feelings' which are diehard habits I had formed over the years.
When 'In the Zone', I usually don't really have any urges to binge, or even eat junk. Getting into the zone takes 2-3 days for me, and it's about ignoring urges, then they go. But when 'in the zone' the only times I feel like bingeing a bit is if I don't get a workout in on a planned day when I 'could' have,
perhaps after I'd been out eating socially with others, - and the food available was not quite as healthy as my normal choices, - but I can generally withstand those small urges and they pass and I'm pleased I don't give in to the 'less desirables'. Also lack of sleep, being tired, under influence of alcohol are other things that can lead me toward silly urges.
I wish I could say the binge just lasted Sunday and Monday, - unfortunately I let it continue Tuesday and today. I was still full this morning, and tired, dreading work. Plan was to eat nothing till hungry later in day and keep up the water as tummy had been overloaded. But my bloated tummy had a sick feeling pit, I felt really flat and had a mental urge that it needed a cheesy savoury brekkie before I started work to get productively through busy morning at work. Couldn't then decide what to have so I doubled up on 2 different things at brekkie, not really a good start today.
SO THE NEW IDEA CHANGE:
Tomorrow I am planning to start way toward a bingefree future for good again.
Major difference this time is........while the 'ultimate' is to be binge free for good from tomoz........if I DO indeed have another 'glitch' in a few months or whatever, - ...............acknowledge it happened but DON'T view it as failure and be BACK TO control the very next day.
I am saying this in the context of a perhaps a smoker. I have never smoked luckily and have never been interested and am very confident I will NEVER smoke. However a heavy smoker may attempt to quit many times. Maybe eventually they do quit for a few weeks or months, - BUT find they give into an urge and light up one evening at a party. Does this make them feel like a failure and go back to fulltime smoking again? In lots of cases it could, due to past habits, their feelings of disappointment, failure etc. But if the very next day they went back to being a non smoker, - their mental 'blocks' would change. If an ex - full time smoker had a solo evening where they 'lit up' for whatever reason every few months, that is still progress, one day they may give up totally for good.
So in relating that to binge eating or even over-indulgence of alcohol, -
* The Gold Star idea is that I never eat or drink in a way which I define as 'bingeing' again.
I don't want to make an 'excape clause' but if it DOES happen I need to put all my energies into making sure it doesn't go on for more than 1 consecutive day and place a strong emphasis on possible binges declining in frequency, not increasing.
Thursday tomoz, think tomorrows plan for overfull tummy is lemon and water for brekkie, then an orange, then lots of water, then 'suck it up' at work! Sweat up at gym, no matter what!
You know what! As for the 'binge' that started on Sunday, - I felt SO disappointed! I had done the 29 day challenge meeting targets on all fronts, I had stayed bingefree for another week beyond that, - I had a few challenges and less sleep over the last week but nothing too major. The 'binge' started from going over my alcohol 'allowance' this time.
I had hoped this was FINALLY the end of all bingeing for me, that I had turned the leaf for good. As I had several times before, - I had a secret confident feeling that this IS it. I had read Kathryn Hansen's wonderful e-book, 'Brain Over Binge', it made sense. However, I also had the mindset that, - a binge can form by giving into a silly fleeting urge, can feel damaging, giving in would disappoint me, I would then have to deal with all the old 'urges/feelings' which are diehard habits I had formed over the years.
When 'In the Zone', I usually don't really have any urges to binge, or even eat junk. Getting into the zone takes 2-3 days for me, and it's about ignoring urges, then they go. But when 'in the zone' the only times I feel like bingeing a bit is if I don't get a workout in on a planned day when I 'could' have,
perhaps after I'd been out eating socially with others, - and the food available was not quite as healthy as my normal choices, - but I can generally withstand those small urges and they pass and I'm pleased I don't give in to the 'less desirables'. Also lack of sleep, being tired, under influence of alcohol are other things that can lead me toward silly urges.
I wish I could say the binge just lasted Sunday and Monday, - unfortunately I let it continue Tuesday and today. I was still full this morning, and tired, dreading work. Plan was to eat nothing till hungry later in day and keep up the water as tummy had been overloaded. But my bloated tummy had a sick feeling pit, I felt really flat and had a mental urge that it needed a cheesy savoury brekkie before I started work to get productively through busy morning at work. Couldn't then decide what to have so I doubled up on 2 different things at brekkie, not really a good start today.
SO THE NEW IDEA CHANGE:
Tomorrow I am planning to start way toward a bingefree future for good again.
Major difference this time is........while the 'ultimate' is to be binge free for good from tomoz........if I DO indeed have another 'glitch' in a few months or whatever, - ...............acknowledge it happened but DON'T view it as failure and be BACK TO control the very next day.
I am saying this in the context of a perhaps a smoker. I have never smoked luckily and have never been interested and am very confident I will NEVER smoke. However a heavy smoker may attempt to quit many times. Maybe eventually they do quit for a few weeks or months, - BUT find they give into an urge and light up one evening at a party. Does this make them feel like a failure and go back to fulltime smoking again? In lots of cases it could, due to past habits, their feelings of disappointment, failure etc. But if the very next day they went back to being a non smoker, - their mental 'blocks' would change. If an ex - full time smoker had a solo evening where they 'lit up' for whatever reason every few months, that is still progress, one day they may give up totally for good.
So in relating that to binge eating or even over-indulgence of alcohol, -
* The Gold Star idea is that I never eat or drink in a way which I define as 'bingeing' again.
I don't want to make an 'excape clause' but if it DOES happen I need to put all my energies into making sure it doesn't go on for more than 1 consecutive day and place a strong emphasis on possible binges declining in frequency, not increasing.
Thursday tomoz, think tomorrows plan for overfull tummy is lemon and water for brekkie, then an orange, then lots of water, then 'suck it up' at work! Sweat up at gym, no matter what!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
In Wake of the regarded kinda 'flop'.......
G'day,
Firstly I will acknowledge the kind help from Magda and Hilary in regard to my last post! Thank you for making me feel better.
I was mentioning on some posts recently that I read Michael Hill's book, - 'Toughen Up'. I am now reading his second book called 'Think Bigger', - gosh I am actually liking and utilizing my kindle e-reader! I don't quite have the same aspirations as Sir Michael Hill, - who has a goal of 1000 Michael Hill Shops globably my 2022. He is in his 70's now, didn't really start his journeying of getting ahead/opening his own first store until the age of 40. In addition to his world known jewellery chain, - he runs a world class violin competition with world class judges and top class competitors from many countries. (Sir Michael thought of a way to utilise is passion of playing the violin), - and he dreamt big. He also had a hobby of building golf courses, and built a world class one near Queenstown and Arrowtown in NZ. Amongst much more he and his 'gang' have designed and built many boats. He always seemed to then want something bigger and better. He seems to thrive on 'thrill' and gets more pleasure out of planning/building such things like better boats, new business plans, better golf courses than he does sitting back and enjoying the fruits of his massive accomplishments! He enjoys taking friends out fishing on his awesome boats and helping/providing good experiences for others, more than sitting back indulging himself.
Ya know, - I had just written MUCH more than this, - about Aussie Pole to Pole runner legend Pat Farmer, how once I even donated $15 to charity, (to cover some wine I DIDN'T drink), - his main purpose for his run was to raise $$$ for the Red Cross! However while I thought I was saving this post, I lost over half of it, - frustrating. I gave a bit blurb on his run. Basically he trapsed through the heart of the polar regions, covered on average 84k running EVERY day non stop from most Northern tip of Canada to most Southern city of world in Ushasia, base tip of I think, - Argentina. He flew across necessary oceans at the smallest points possible. I was nearly NOT gonna run in this years Perth 14k charity run as I was still stoked with last years time, knew I would be a bit slower this year, - HOWEVER after I heard Pat come to the local radio station and promote the run there was no way I COULD NOT participate! And I still achieved what I consider at least a respectable time!
NZ ASPIRATIONS........(Still called 'loose' aspirations, not yet goals haha!) Just a quick outline!
* Move, - arriving 21 Nov this year, - first night in new home
* Initially settle in, catch up with family, suss out course details, (see what I can get accepted into), probably initially over summer work on parents business, maybe/maybe not take on a hospitality shift, aim to improve or at least maintain fitness, study up on the beginner level of anatomy, phsysiology, maintain home!
* Start course in Feb 2013, - Exercise Science L5 diploma lasts 1 year, if one passes they can choose to go into a L6 Diploma in the second year, and attain a bachelor in the third year. Am just taking 1 year at a time here, it's a full time course, the 'zero fees' local scheme makes it much more affordable. I'd apply for the student allowance scheme, hopefully be able to supplement that with a couple of shifts a week work. Initially that may be hospitality, ideally working toward shifts in the health/fitness industry, (even gym reception or salesperson at Rebel Sports or similar :-)). Keeping fit, enough sleep, keeping up with course, study, work, home maintanance and some fun will keep me well busy!
* I am working toward some fulltime job in the health/fitness type industry. If that is not forthcoming for a bit I will work toward shifts in hospitality and/or retail and for maybe my parents.
* One ambition IS to start either a personal training 'on the side' business and/or take a group fitness class or similar! I am still very loose with this, have not decided on a 'target market(s)'! - or how I would implement it, - but it's a vision for the next few years, - and quite weirdly vivid!
* I will join the Southland Multisport club! Also a gym, maybe a running OR bootcamp type group. Getting back into netball would be good, - but no promises on that one yet.
* I hope to be able to get away on a decent overseas holiday/adventure for about 2-5 weeks every 2 years, - some adventure, some relaxing but enjoyment, new experiences and fun.
* Keep up blogging/photography, ideally start a blog more suitable to general public and FB mates over time!
* Obviously build friendships, relationships etc over time.
* Nicely maintain my property!
Haha, - this is not quite Michael's vision but I this is what I am very happy and excited with now, - and I visualise this 'outline' for the next few years). Beyond that, - who knows!
HOWEVER, - the biggest thing is EFFORT! Even as the last couple of days prooved again, the most destructive thing is BINGEING!
Whatever eventuates, - the biggest disappointment will be bingeing. If I get annoyed, let doubts overule me, then binge, then spend too much $ I will be gutted if I don't pass my course.
However, - if I can control the controllables and at least not binge on uncontrolled food or booze plus remain happy with my efforts at personal organisation and not spend wastefully.......if I am happy with my effort of study and lifestyle balance however still don't manage the marks I want or even pass, I will feel OK that I have given my best, stayed in control, then move onto the next thing.
On that note, - 'urges, come, go'. They seem to arise more when tired, outta routine, a little stressed, - where 'excuses' ponder to get us 'outta the zone'. If fully in the zone, not tired, organised etc, they seem to arise 'less'. I still believe the art in fully getting over binge eating/compulsive alcohol consumption or compulsive general spending of money IS to not act on those non helpful 'urges'. If we manage to ignore our 'urges', or at least tell ourselves, 'they WILL pass at some point, - I bet we can enter bed that night, - pleased we didn't give into those slippery slope/destructive/unplanned urges at the end of the day!
I have rattled on enough today!
Pip :-)
Firstly I will acknowledge the kind help from Magda and Hilary in regard to my last post! Thank you for making me feel better.
I was mentioning on some posts recently that I read Michael Hill's book, - 'Toughen Up'. I am now reading his second book called 'Think Bigger', - gosh I am actually liking and utilizing my kindle e-reader! I don't quite have the same aspirations as Sir Michael Hill, - who has a goal of 1000 Michael Hill Shops globably my 2022. He is in his 70's now, didn't really start his journeying of getting ahead/opening his own first store until the age of 40. In addition to his world known jewellery chain, - he runs a world class violin competition with world class judges and top class competitors from many countries. (Sir Michael thought of a way to utilise is passion of playing the violin), - and he dreamt big. He also had a hobby of building golf courses, and built a world class one near Queenstown and Arrowtown in NZ. Amongst much more he and his 'gang' have designed and built many boats. He always seemed to then want something bigger and better. He seems to thrive on 'thrill' and gets more pleasure out of planning/building such things like better boats, new business plans, better golf courses than he does sitting back and enjoying the fruits of his massive accomplishments! He enjoys taking friends out fishing on his awesome boats and helping/providing good experiences for others, more than sitting back indulging himself.
Ya know, - I had just written MUCH more than this, - about Aussie Pole to Pole runner legend Pat Farmer, how once I even donated $15 to charity, (to cover some wine I DIDN'T drink), - his main purpose for his run was to raise $$$ for the Red Cross! However while I thought I was saving this post, I lost over half of it, - frustrating. I gave a bit blurb on his run. Basically he trapsed through the heart of the polar regions, covered on average 84k running EVERY day non stop from most Northern tip of Canada to most Southern city of world in Ushasia, base tip of I think, - Argentina. He flew across necessary oceans at the smallest points possible. I was nearly NOT gonna run in this years Perth 14k charity run as I was still stoked with last years time, knew I would be a bit slower this year, - HOWEVER after I heard Pat come to the local radio station and promote the run there was no way I COULD NOT participate! And I still achieved what I consider at least a respectable time!
NZ ASPIRATIONS........(Still called 'loose' aspirations, not yet goals haha!) Just a quick outline!
* Move, - arriving 21 Nov this year, - first night in new home
* Initially settle in, catch up with family, suss out course details, (see what I can get accepted into), probably initially over summer work on parents business, maybe/maybe not take on a hospitality shift, aim to improve or at least maintain fitness, study up on the beginner level of anatomy, phsysiology, maintain home!
* Start course in Feb 2013, - Exercise Science L5 diploma lasts 1 year, if one passes they can choose to go into a L6 Diploma in the second year, and attain a bachelor in the third year. Am just taking 1 year at a time here, it's a full time course, the 'zero fees' local scheme makes it much more affordable. I'd apply for the student allowance scheme, hopefully be able to supplement that with a couple of shifts a week work. Initially that may be hospitality, ideally working toward shifts in the health/fitness industry, (even gym reception or salesperson at Rebel Sports or similar :-)). Keeping fit, enough sleep, keeping up with course, study, work, home maintanance and some fun will keep me well busy!
* I am working toward some fulltime job in the health/fitness type industry. If that is not forthcoming for a bit I will work toward shifts in hospitality and/or retail and for maybe my parents.
* One ambition IS to start either a personal training 'on the side' business and/or take a group fitness class or similar! I am still very loose with this, have not decided on a 'target market(s)'! - or how I would implement it, - but it's a vision for the next few years, - and quite weirdly vivid!
* I will join the Southland Multisport club! Also a gym, maybe a running OR bootcamp type group. Getting back into netball would be good, - but no promises on that one yet.
* I hope to be able to get away on a decent overseas holiday/adventure for about 2-5 weeks every 2 years, - some adventure, some relaxing but enjoyment, new experiences and fun.
* Keep up blogging/photography, ideally start a blog more suitable to general public and FB mates over time!
* Obviously build friendships, relationships etc over time.
* Nicely maintain my property!
Haha, - this is not quite Michael's vision but I this is what I am very happy and excited with now, - and I visualise this 'outline' for the next few years). Beyond that, - who knows!
HOWEVER, - the biggest thing is EFFORT! Even as the last couple of days prooved again, the most destructive thing is BINGEING!
Whatever eventuates, - the biggest disappointment will be bingeing. If I get annoyed, let doubts overule me, then binge, then spend too much $ I will be gutted if I don't pass my course.
However, - if I can control the controllables and at least not binge on uncontrolled food or booze plus remain happy with my efforts at personal organisation and not spend wastefully.......if I am happy with my effort of study and lifestyle balance however still don't manage the marks I want or even pass, I will feel OK that I have given my best, stayed in control, then move onto the next thing.
On that note, - 'urges, come, go'. They seem to arise more when tired, outta routine, a little stressed, - where 'excuses' ponder to get us 'outta the zone'. If fully in the zone, not tired, organised etc, they seem to arise 'less'. I still believe the art in fully getting over binge eating/compulsive alcohol consumption or compulsive general spending of money IS to not act on those non helpful 'urges'. If we manage to ignore our 'urges', or at least tell ourselves, 'they WILL pass at some point, - I bet we can enter bed that night, - pleased we didn't give into those slippery slope/destructive/unplanned urges at the end of the day!
I have rattled on enough today!
Pip :-)
Monday, August 27, 2012
Hmmmmmm, - in 'want' of help lol.........
G'day all,
I really want this to be my last 'drag down', 'negative type' post for a bit. I am writing this here as in all honestly I feel bad about having the 'same' conversation with the 'same' people about 'same/similar things'. I am concious that if I get a tangent in my current frame of mind I could potentially drag others down lots, - who don't deserve to be dragged down, but bottling it up inside yourself sucks too :-( I feel bad as I know I once again dragged family down this past weekend about very similar issues of the last many many years!
I know many many people worldwide have much more earth shattering probs and concerns than me by the way!
Firstly I will say up until mid arvo yesterday, - I stayed well on track. I got over 30k in for the week of running, some smashing resistance workouts. Saturday's workout was cut a bit shorter than I meant it to be but I still got a 20k ride in, (to and from gym) 15 mins as intense as poss on rower and some good sets on the assisted chin up and assisted tricep dip machine. I did weigh in on Saturday, had a decent drop, - 75.5kg, - that was after a healthy but decent sized lunch, a medium skinny flat white and same water.
I did intend a run, followed by lots of pushups/crunches/plank, lunges on Sunday but ended up just not getting it done early, then at almost lunchtime started helping my housemate moving her BF in who is new to the household!
Mid arvo yesterday housemate and I started having a few drinks and a quick chat while her BF was away cleaning up his old property. Oops, - too much alcohol, - a bottle of crisp sav blanc, (3 full large glasses) and then 2 low carb beers over a few hours :-( My eyes went really sleepy, I then drank heaps of water. I felt a bit dizzy but decided on food. I binged on my bag of parmesan cheese that had lasted over a month and was only used sparingly occasionally up till then so I had 3/4 of a bag or so to finish it off. Also Had 4 slices toast, thick low fat cottage cheese, a tin of tuna in water, a bowl of oats with protein powder and more water. Still felt somewhat dizzy but felt as if I had eaten more food at once than I had in a good while. Then showered and went to bed early.
After 3 hours quick sleep I awoke to a fast strong heart rate, feeling much warmer than normal, feeling bloated and having my food repeat on me and I felt horrified, could not settle back to sleep till another 5 hours later.
I have been a bit down on myself of late for a few minor reasons, (am trying to snap out of it):
* My boss ringing me out of work last week really did have a major effect.
* I am 32, have had much fun and experiences but seem to undo much good work I do, have not alot to show for my working life, (thank goodness for Super but I can't transfer that to NZ)
* All the shit to do with my Thailand trip, I will have to pay for another tour if I wish to go, - my savings are going way down! Kumuka has gone into liquidation and are not forthcoming in refunding me promptly.
* Not feeling I have 'made' it how I wanted to in Australia, however I love Oz! Am in a dead end job
* In my efforts to become a more confident driver, after a little progress I always seem to get a major confidence 'knock', - therefore I haven't really progressed at all. That limits many opportunities.
* I was a late talker, watching videos of me as a child I see I was a late developer and always looked a little 'slow off the mark'. I constantly stress I still come across like that to others, - hence that will make it harder and maybe unrealistic for me to achieve what I want in life. I always think, - maybe I should lower my ambitions.
* Sometimes I feel some don't take me seriously, - not that I should really worry by the way.
* I am concerning myself with the fact I may need financial help from my parents in NZ if my aspirations there are to become a reality, - I feel a bit of a 'drain' for that, 32 is too old for that. They have helped me lots over the years.
* I still haven't done all the round the world travel that I want! Coulda/shoulda organised myself differently over the years.
* Just have that horrid kinda 'hopeless' feeling at the moment!
* Am really concerned my NZ aspirations will be a flop!
Today, after last night and being Monday was a drag. I missed brekkie as tummy still felt weird. But when I got to town I ended up getting a coffee and pumpkin scone for brekkie before work and got some Superannuation stuff sorted on phone. The urge to binge kept being strong all day, for anything, everything, - unfortunately I listened to it......badly. Started out with adding brie cheese to lunch roll, from then on eating at least 4-5 times more food today than I would any other day. Including first hit of sugary stuff, - iced skinny coffee, icecream, caramel sauce, caramel cheesecake, chocolate.......galore, also a brie cheese, seafood, marinara sauce Italian thing on bread. I've experienced this flop many times before after feeling almost invincible, in control, on track so it's familiar.
One thing last week was I still had far too little time in bed, kept being busy only averaging 5-5.5 hours till alarm rang, so always felt on the back foot but pushed on! Kept on being busy.
I read Craig Harper's post today on 'commitment', - as well as Michael Hill's 'Toughen Up' book recently. The general idea is 'successful people do what most won't', they don't stop when the going gets tough. I was pleased with my commitment in my recent 29 day challenge. Yesterday and today I had choices about whether I gave into 'urges' or not but still conciously put excess food or alcohol in my mouth, - to a point of feeling out of control and not happy with my actions. As strong as the urges were, I could have chosen to ignore them, or at least tell myself 'they will pass', - (which they will), - then when I go to bed at night, I would feel happy with my actions.
Think that is enough for today, - I would love to say today will be my last 'binge day' for good.........
Pip :-)
I really want this to be my last 'drag down', 'negative type' post for a bit. I am writing this here as in all honestly I feel bad about having the 'same' conversation with the 'same' people about 'same/similar things'. I am concious that if I get a tangent in my current frame of mind I could potentially drag others down lots, - who don't deserve to be dragged down, but bottling it up inside yourself sucks too :-( I feel bad as I know I once again dragged family down this past weekend about very similar issues of the last many many years!
I know many many people worldwide have much more earth shattering probs and concerns than me by the way!
Firstly I will say up until mid arvo yesterday, - I stayed well on track. I got over 30k in for the week of running, some smashing resistance workouts. Saturday's workout was cut a bit shorter than I meant it to be but I still got a 20k ride in, (to and from gym) 15 mins as intense as poss on rower and some good sets on the assisted chin up and assisted tricep dip machine. I did weigh in on Saturday, had a decent drop, - 75.5kg, - that was after a healthy but decent sized lunch, a medium skinny flat white and same water.
I did intend a run, followed by lots of pushups/crunches/plank, lunges on Sunday but ended up just not getting it done early, then at almost lunchtime started helping my housemate moving her BF in who is new to the household!
Mid arvo yesterday housemate and I started having a few drinks and a quick chat while her BF was away cleaning up his old property. Oops, - too much alcohol, - a bottle of crisp sav blanc, (3 full large glasses) and then 2 low carb beers over a few hours :-( My eyes went really sleepy, I then drank heaps of water. I felt a bit dizzy but decided on food. I binged on my bag of parmesan cheese that had lasted over a month and was only used sparingly occasionally up till then so I had 3/4 of a bag or so to finish it off. Also Had 4 slices toast, thick low fat cottage cheese, a tin of tuna in water, a bowl of oats with protein powder and more water. Still felt somewhat dizzy but felt as if I had eaten more food at once than I had in a good while. Then showered and went to bed early.
After 3 hours quick sleep I awoke to a fast strong heart rate, feeling much warmer than normal, feeling bloated and having my food repeat on me and I felt horrified, could not settle back to sleep till another 5 hours later.
I have been a bit down on myself of late for a few minor reasons, (am trying to snap out of it):
* My boss ringing me out of work last week really did have a major effect.
* I am 32, have had much fun and experiences but seem to undo much good work I do, have not alot to show for my working life, (thank goodness for Super but I can't transfer that to NZ)
* All the shit to do with my Thailand trip, I will have to pay for another tour if I wish to go, - my savings are going way down! Kumuka has gone into liquidation and are not forthcoming in refunding me promptly.
* Not feeling I have 'made' it how I wanted to in Australia, however I love Oz! Am in a dead end job
* In my efforts to become a more confident driver, after a little progress I always seem to get a major confidence 'knock', - therefore I haven't really progressed at all. That limits many opportunities.
* I was a late talker, watching videos of me as a child I see I was a late developer and always looked a little 'slow off the mark'. I constantly stress I still come across like that to others, - hence that will make it harder and maybe unrealistic for me to achieve what I want in life. I always think, - maybe I should lower my ambitions.
* Sometimes I feel some don't take me seriously, - not that I should really worry by the way.
* I am concerning myself with the fact I may need financial help from my parents in NZ if my aspirations there are to become a reality, - I feel a bit of a 'drain' for that, 32 is too old for that. They have helped me lots over the years.
* I still haven't done all the round the world travel that I want! Coulda/shoulda organised myself differently over the years.
* Just have that horrid kinda 'hopeless' feeling at the moment!
* Am really concerned my NZ aspirations will be a flop!
Today, after last night and being Monday was a drag. I missed brekkie as tummy still felt weird. But when I got to town I ended up getting a coffee and pumpkin scone for brekkie before work and got some Superannuation stuff sorted on phone. The urge to binge kept being strong all day, for anything, everything, - unfortunately I listened to it......badly. Started out with adding brie cheese to lunch roll, from then on eating at least 4-5 times more food today than I would any other day. Including first hit of sugary stuff, - iced skinny coffee, icecream, caramel sauce, caramel cheesecake, chocolate.......galore, also a brie cheese, seafood, marinara sauce Italian thing on bread. I've experienced this flop many times before after feeling almost invincible, in control, on track so it's familiar.
One thing last week was I still had far too little time in bed, kept being busy only averaging 5-5.5 hours till alarm rang, so always felt on the back foot but pushed on! Kept on being busy.
I read Craig Harper's post today on 'commitment', - as well as Michael Hill's 'Toughen Up' book recently. The general idea is 'successful people do what most won't', they don't stop when the going gets tough. I was pleased with my commitment in my recent 29 day challenge. Yesterday and today I had choices about whether I gave into 'urges' or not but still conciously put excess food or alcohol in my mouth, - to a point of feeling out of control and not happy with my actions. As strong as the urges were, I could have chosen to ignore them, or at least tell myself 'they will pass', - (which they will), - then when I go to bed at night, I would feel happy with my actions.
Think that is enough for today, - I would love to say today will be my last 'binge day' for good.........
Pip :-)
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
DOUBLE CRANKY TUESDAY!..........
Well, - if I thought I was cranky yesterday, - something late this arvo made me even crankier today, - upset, grumpy, raging angry, feeling used, hopeless, worthless, dumb, non achieveing etc etc........
That being the boss ringing me up, - out of work hours to have a discussion with me and express his concern that:
a) I am kinda working in limbo hanging out for my last day, (5 weeks, 3 days away)
b) I am not concentrating, making too many 'little' mistakes and not listening to others, (I misheard something he said once as he mumbles and forgot a customer order when I had a list to try to remember by memory)
c) That he has a business to run, and I need to be fully there and concentrate harder and never make a mistake, (I make few). He said a few other things but that was the main jist.
I was ropeable as a) - he rang me outside of work hours when busy to discuss this so my head was out of the work 'game', - why not take me aside when we are both at work? b) I can handle constructive comments about most things but as for this job, it is dead end, no 'go ahead' however he tries to run his franchise business with less staff, and some staff starting a bit later than other franchised stores with a similar turnover so it's chaotic and flatout mostly! He is lucky to have good staff and does work hard himself. In 2008 I was store manager at one of the company stores, however got demoted as it was said that I wasn't a good manager, I got an A plus for personal effort, personal productivity and hours put in to try and make it work and cover others but it was said that I wasn't good enough at managing others, - hence a demotion to store employee and a pay decrease. I all the time curse *why* I am still in this job, haven't progressed or moved on. The main reasons I am still here are:
* it's full time, not casual, - I like certainty of income.
* no nights or weekends now
* I HATE writing resumes, job hunting etc in my spare time.
* Being not a confident driver limits possibilities
* I remember all the past struggles of finding employment that provides enough income to live off in Australia, (had to return to NZ twice as I ran down my savings 'trying' to look for enough work)
* Scared to leave, - that I may become a liability etc.
I have always gone that extra mile, pushed myself speed wise as much as poss to be as productive as possible, often have been silly enough to start early, finish later to help the 'team', (who all work hard) out with no extra pay. Boss is right, - I am hanging out for my last day! However my efforts have not decreased and I am pushing self as much as poss. He acknowleged that reliability is no issue. (But is that all I am useful for?) There is a relatively new staff member to our store that has been transferred from a few shops because of personality issues with others. She works with me, is good and efficient, punctual etc. She is just trying to take over the leadership role in the kitchen, (natural to her) and wants stuff organised/done her way. I can't be bothered putting her nose out of joint, her or my suggestions would work so as feel a bit peeved but 'zip' my mouth and 'go with it'. Maybe that is putting me on the outer a bit?
Anyway, sorry for all that ramble, - I hope to have a non cranky topic soon!
Oh yeah, on a good note I had that free Body Composition Reading done today.
Height was measured, - still the same at 1.71m
Weight was 77.1, (light clothes, no shoes)
Body fat % was 32.1%
Bone mass was 2.6
Lean muscle mass was 49.7. That was pleasing as my DEXA scan in 2008 told me it was 46.3. And any other time I got body composition tests done muscle mass was generally 47.something kg, (had not had one done for at least 4 years)! Therefore am truly a bit stronger like my lifting tells me, and the resistance training must be working a bit.
Metabolic age was 40, (it lowers as body fat is decreased).
Water % - 48.5
After this I went to gym to meet buddy for training session, - pushed the weights! Then 7k running on the treadmill. First 6k done at 0.5 incline, 11.5kmph, was stuffed, then kinda intervals for the final last km to really overkill, then abs!
Oh how I wanted a wine tonight, - crisp sauvignon blanc. After todays upset I even got as far as walking into the bottleo between the gym and train station after my workout and bought a bottle. But came home, refrigerated it, had tea, wrote this, urge died down for night so it won't get opened now today anyway, tough but! Nah, can't have any till Friday! Sorry for today's rant!
That being the boss ringing me up, - out of work hours to have a discussion with me and express his concern that:
a) I am kinda working in limbo hanging out for my last day, (5 weeks, 3 days away)
b) I am not concentrating, making too many 'little' mistakes and not listening to others, (I misheard something he said once as he mumbles and forgot a customer order when I had a list to try to remember by memory)
c) That he has a business to run, and I need to be fully there and concentrate harder and never make a mistake, (I make few). He said a few other things but that was the main jist.
I was ropeable as a) - he rang me outside of work hours when busy to discuss this so my head was out of the work 'game', - why not take me aside when we are both at work? b) I can handle constructive comments about most things but as for this job, it is dead end, no 'go ahead' however he tries to run his franchise business with less staff, and some staff starting a bit later than other franchised stores with a similar turnover so it's chaotic and flatout mostly! He is lucky to have good staff and does work hard himself. In 2008 I was store manager at one of the company stores, however got demoted as it was said that I wasn't a good manager, I got an A plus for personal effort, personal productivity and hours put in to try and make it work and cover others but it was said that I wasn't good enough at managing others, - hence a demotion to store employee and a pay decrease. I all the time curse *why* I am still in this job, haven't progressed or moved on. The main reasons I am still here are:
* it's full time, not casual, - I like certainty of income.
* no nights or weekends now
* I HATE writing resumes, job hunting etc in my spare time.
* Being not a confident driver limits possibilities
* I remember all the past struggles of finding employment that provides enough income to live off in Australia, (had to return to NZ twice as I ran down my savings 'trying' to look for enough work)
* Scared to leave, - that I may become a liability etc.
I have always gone that extra mile, pushed myself speed wise as much as poss to be as productive as possible, often have been silly enough to start early, finish later to help the 'team', (who all work hard) out with no extra pay. Boss is right, - I am hanging out for my last day! However my efforts have not decreased and I am pushing self as much as poss. He acknowleged that reliability is no issue. (But is that all I am useful for?) There is a relatively new staff member to our store that has been transferred from a few shops because of personality issues with others. She works with me, is good and efficient, punctual etc. She is just trying to take over the leadership role in the kitchen, (natural to her) and wants stuff organised/done her way. I can't be bothered putting her nose out of joint, her or my suggestions would work so as feel a bit peeved but 'zip' my mouth and 'go with it'. Maybe that is putting me on the outer a bit?
Anyway, sorry for all that ramble, - I hope to have a non cranky topic soon!
Oh yeah, on a good note I had that free Body Composition Reading done today.
Height was measured, - still the same at 1.71m
Weight was 77.1, (light clothes, no shoes)
Body fat % was 32.1%
Bone mass was 2.6
Lean muscle mass was 49.7. That was pleasing as my DEXA scan in 2008 told me it was 46.3. And any other time I got body composition tests done muscle mass was generally 47.something kg, (had not had one done for at least 4 years)! Therefore am truly a bit stronger like my lifting tells me, and the resistance training must be working a bit.
Metabolic age was 40, (it lowers as body fat is decreased).
Water % - 48.5
After this I went to gym to meet buddy for training session, - pushed the weights! Then 7k running on the treadmill. First 6k done at 0.5 incline, 11.5kmph, was stuffed, then kinda intervals for the final last km to really overkill, then abs!
Oh how I wanted a wine tonight, - crisp sauvignon blanc. After todays upset I even got as far as walking into the bottleo between the gym and train station after my workout and bought a bottle. But came home, refrigerated it, had tea, wrote this, urge died down for night so it won't get opened now today anyway, tough but! Nah, can't have any till Friday! Sorry for today's rant!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)