Thursday, May 16, 2013

AN UPDATE......A NEW PAIR OF JEANS LOL......

G'day,

Lately have been working, doing some gardening, have just booked my next lot of Crossfit classes, (2 a week for the month of June) and playing with my cute lil nephew who is 9 weeks old today.  Have also caught up with some old school friends, (whom I hadn't seen in well over 10 years, and at that stage briefly). 

Here is something minor!  As for the last episode of.....quick weight gain from getting off track, bingeing, etc....and wanting to 'get 'all possible ever desires', all out of my system' before getting 'on track', (hopefully for good) again, - something slightly unusual for me happened over the last few days.

I hadn't yet quite got round to making myself go for a hardcore run, finding out how much fitness I'd lost, trying some pushups, crunches etc and seeing how much I now sucked.....setting the new lower 'starting' dismal benchmark.  After a layoff, - and excess quick weight, the results from that are always depressing lol!  My 'usual' pattern is.....up until I did that new 'benchmark' training session....I'd get in all the um......'not so desirable foods' in non moderate quantities than I could possibly ever desire, then magically 'after that benchmark session', I would genuinely not ever desire to choose to have them off my own bat for ages......(till I lost momentum)....mental programming of course!

I did set a 'crackdown again date' a couple of weeks ago, but missed the boat on the day so to speak!  However over the last week or so......I'm not wanting to eat till hungry, seem to want foods such as a variation of leanish protein with veg or salad, fresh fruit, water, um coffee and some wine, even healthy non sweet dairy options in small quantities, egg white/veg omeletes and similar, some but not excess bread, small serves avocado and occasional almonds etc......actually my normal type of 'on track/in the zone' foods I desire.  I made some savoury muffins for workmates the other day, (cheese, some veg, herbs, pepper white flour, trim milk and egg).  Thought I'd better not get too kinky on them and do them with wholemeal flour or ingredients they wouldn't recognise!  Over the many years......they were one of my 'binge foods', I could bake and even eat a whole batch, (12 muffins alone)...hot out of the oven with lashings of butter,....only time I like butter....shhhh!  Or if on track.....I didn't genuinely desire or have any if I made them and would avoid them unless in situation I felt rude avoiding them socially.  The other day, well I made a random decision to have 1 muffin as a late breakfast with coffee and water, not none, not the whole batch or half the batch lol and had no desire to want to....or go and buy all the chocolate etc I could ever desire to gorge on and didn't!

Am revved for a big run tomorrow, am not expecting a great time or anything.  I can see myself having a desire for, sorry for the term but 'clean food', once I'm as focussed with training as I'd like to stay again!  But whether it's 'clean' food or the muffin lol........it definitely feels better to feel satisfied I haven't binged.  Lets keep this going!  It's really just keeping on top of the mental game, (no secret).....if those silly 'urges' come, if we ignore them the best we can, they will pass.

BTW, - I don't have many nice looking jeans or trousers which sit respectfully at the moment, - all too small and of course long pants are desired in winter over shorts.  I do have one pair of jeans, but being low cut, they seem to 'pop' off my butt so I need to be mindful of that and wear a long baggy top.  Even a belt didn't help.  So there was a deal at Just Jeans.....one pair for $69.95 or 2 for $100.  I chose a stretch, straight legged blue high waisted size 14 pair that fit now, and a choc brown stretch pair in size 12, (like nothing I have ever had before) that will match all my clothes, - which will fit when I move toward the high to mid 70's odd kg wise.

Other than that, am cruising along well!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Crossfit and The Potential 'Elephant' In The Room.........

G'day!

First up: Crossfit!  I have completed the 4 Elements Beginner classes now, and tonight we had a 5th session for free today where we did our Baseline WOD, (workout of day).  Our first 4 beginner classes each consisted of a warm up, (Crossfit moves and often 'skipping rope skipping' like what I did as a kid), then a skills session where we learnt a variety of the basic Crossfit moves and we had them scaled to a suitable level of where we are at now.  Next we had the WOD, (normally a circuit with either running or rowing machines with exercises such as squats, push presses, pullups, (yeah right, I can only do 'jumping pullups' right now, - standing on a box, hands on a bar where I can jump to get my chin above the bar!)  Also Crossfit push ups, sit ups, shoulder presses, kettlebell swings, deadlifts, jumping up and down on a box using muscles/power but keeping feet together, (not confident with going very high at all with that one) plus some others!  We always finish with a good stretch.  It's definitely a style of training I will enjoy.  At times I will love to hate it!  But as it's different each workout, it will be interesting, I will learn lots, I will finally consolidate better technique with resistance moves than ever before and it will be fantastic seeing myself improve with time.  Those who become really confident and fit can compete in Crossfit Games etc in the future!  10 in a class, and it's great to train with others in a setting different from Bodypump!  Today, our Baseline WOD was, 400m run, 15 kettlebell swings, 20 sit ups, 10 push presses, 20 squats, 5 shoulder press, (weights/resistance to suit which we record).  General standard is guys repeat twice, girls once, - but all the class did it twice!  We record the time, repeat in 3 months.

Now this 'Elephant', (refer to the title of this post).  Hmmm....
I have always been frustrated with the way I learn somewhat. 
As a little child, once I learnt talk, (I was a bit of a late talker) I could reel off the names of all the towns/probably most of the small localities between Invercargill and Christchurch, (over 500km apart) after I had travelled that road just once with family, (at 3-4 years old)!  All through school I wasn't so flash at listening and answering questions about a story a teacher read, (comprehension) as unless the topic really interested me, I went off in a daydream or couldn't concentrate!  I was better at maths, (more logical).  I have always been, (still am to this day) awkward looking with my form regarding exercise.  For example I know I have a slightly weird running gait, my swimming technique looks awkward, I always get talked to about my form regarding resistance exercises involving weights, (I know instructors need to look after our safety!)  Lets say I had to learn social skills to an extent growing up, - they didn't always come naturally but Mum taught them throughout childhood/pre teens and I still even learnt some more of my own throughout adulthood so far.  In primary school I remember a teacher spending quite a bit of time with me getting me to use eye-contact when speaking to others.  I thought the teacher was weird and didn't consider it important at the time, but from then on think I nailed the eye-contact issue anyway and when older, was glad I did.  I had issues with getting picked on and not making as many friends as I wanted throughout school, (had a few though).  I have rectified this in adulthood which is pleasing!  Another thing, I was taught manners very young though!

Ummm.......so where is this going?  Perhaps a very mild case of Aspergers Syndrome???  Or not???  Anyway at about 24 my Mum brought up the possible word, 'Aspergers Syndrome' with me?  I was determined not to have it....the word 'syndrome' spelt 'disability' at the time, - not something I wanted!  However I took her up on an offer to visit a psychologist near Perth, (this was not long after I moved to WA).  I went in there explaining Mum's concern, my view on the subject.  I used eye-contact and all.  She gave me a multi-choice questionaire to fill out, I could figure out the answers which indicated *neurotypical* and circled them!  However a few questions struck a chord, - particularly one describing 'comforting real pleasure making movements we can do to ourselves'!  I know I'm in the very high minority with that one, always have been from a young age ;-).  Due to my final answers, age 24 I was told I was 'normal' with a few interesting weird traits!

However, since I knew of the word 'Aspergers' now, - it has played on my mind a bit since.  I researched it, watched the video tapes my Uncle used to tape of myself, my sister and cousins as kids and teenagers.  I can see....my communication was a bit different.  As a kid I was a bit stuck on one thing at a time, slow on the uptake socially, vacant looking.  At about age 13 I realised this, - and turned to a complete skite very quickly!  All good, - but my actions looked like that of about a 9 year old when I was 13, pretty much my current height and well developed for that age, - I think behaviour levelled out mid-late teens.

Now, - whether I have mild Aspergers or not, - the way I learn now annoys me.  I need to learn in a rote memory style, - going over and over small bits of info till it's en-grained!  Even with Crossfit, - I seem to feel annoyed if I can't quite pick up the form of a move as quickly as others in the class......therefore have to watch a you-tube video etc and practise alone over and over to pick it up properly!  I'm not a big movie watcher of fiction book reader.  I prefer non-fiction, biographies, sports, news, documentaries, reality TV in preference to movies and soaps.  (I go into a daydream in most non-real or harder plot movies if people who I hang out with want to watch one!)  It could attribute to my driving anxiety in busy areas.

After research, - I found there aren't many psychologists specialising in Aspergers or even Autism.  One in Auckland I found online.  Also, - I found it is a fine line and debateable where someone has mild Aspergers or is neurotypical with a higher percentile amount of aspie traits as it's on a spectrum!  The answer could differ between different trained psychologists!

One area where I DON'T appear to be affected by Aspergers is......my non-need to a structured identical daily routine!  I love travel, the unknown, random adventure in different countries and cultures.  On a more local scale, I had never done Crossfit, didn't know anyone in my class, (most attendees went along with either friends or partners to a class).......to me that was exciting, non stressful and non-intimidating.

In conclusion, - I think we are all unique.  I am open to the fact that I think some labels in some cases may be given to some people un-necessarily.  If I went and paid the big money to get a successful (or not) very mild Aspergers diagnosis, I thought about what would change in my life, - nothing either way.  I certainly don't want to be labelled with it!  Workwise the only thing where it could be an issue is a complex job where lots of new things in very stressful, (medical namely or matter of life/death) social situations need to be learned very quickly and I avoid jobs like that. I believe the occasional person possibly has milked an Aspergers diagnosis, ie an excuse for a disability pension, when they really don't need it!  I 've decided I have no interest in whether I'm diagnosed with it or not, - life won't change.  The only peeps I've mentioned the potential word 'Aspergers' to is family, a close relative and ex-partner, (I have small regrets of the latter).

Enough for a day, now I've let that cat of of the bag, I don't see I need to mention it, whether I have a form of it borderline or not doesn't bother me at all but I don't need to make excuses cause of it's potential or have possible talks of it transferred to future posts!  Talk soon :-)

Cheers Pip!