Hello!
I realise this post is back to rehashing the same old stuff/long term issues in a slightly different way, - something I still *desperately hope* to get away from *very soon*. I am not blaming anyone however I'm not feeling all 'sorry for myself' or the like either.
I will mention that I know for many years, (since I was 21 after I felt I got really fit at one point and time) that I consider that I have a problem with alcohol. A bit like binge eating actually.
When I was 18-20, I still did drink however only when I went either clubbing or to a party with others my age where alcohol was involved. For the most times in those instances I moderated myself to a level I felt happy with. A couple of times I got drunk in friends company to the point of not remembering all the next day or falling asleep at a party........still twice too many but that was about twice in 2-3 years and pretty standard I guess. I never drank by myself or anything then, - it didn't occur to me.
After I got to a 'fit' point for me the summer I turned 21, - close to, (if not daily drinking) became the norm. It was an effort to have alcohol free days but I did, (often strung a few alcohol free days due together due to lack of funds as well plus knew it was sensible). I remember enjoying beers, wine, various RTD's, either during social occasions or as an enjoyable way to relax (putting off important things that needed doing) while reading, listening to music dancing around or whatever. Sure there were times I had up to 6 beers or up to a bottle of wine, (occasionally getting too drunk to the point of forgetting parts of the evening if out). However luckily nothing overly dangerous happened cause of this, was always in friends company on the odd occasion it happened, (plus it happened to them as well on occasion). The alcohol didn't affect weight gain then plus I still made gains in fitness......unless binge eating was out of control too.
Pretty much this was the case till I worked in the country pub in WA for 1.5 years. Drinking was the culture, I would have had some I guess 6 days a week on average at least. Always a 'staffie' after I finished work which sometimes stayed at 1 or 2, average would have been 3-4 but once a week or so it was either 5-6 drinks such as a beer or RTD being 1 drink, (maybe 1.3 std drinks) or a bottle of wine or the like, mostly with company.
When I first moved into Perth I was on a health/fitness/fatloss kick and gave up booze for about 4 weeks, then once I started feeling a bit better about self started allowing it socially in moderation, (such as only out with new peeps I'd met establishing friendships). That worked nicely for a while and I was still in the zone of getting fit. However the alcohol started being 'soo goooood', intake went up, eventually overeating/binge eating ways started,intense training went by the wayside so intense weight regain etc......and the cycle continued somewhat!
Food wise, - I've never felt 'all or nothing' exactly, never followed a diet as such, handled small setbacks OK, but subconciously believe the 'inevitable' is that I'd screw up eventually.....which has prooven to be the case unfortunately........the opposite to what I, (the higher brain) really wants to be doing.
Regarding alcohol, I've gone for periods where I'd given it up for a while, often 1-2 weeks, once 6 weeks completely, a couple of stints of a months abstinence. I also had set limitation goals such as......10 standard drinks per week max with at least 4 alcohol free days that week,..........or the goal of never drinking alone, only in moderation at social events where others are also drinking and lots like these. The 'moderation/control' goals do work for a while, - but I have always seemed to slip back to old patterns.
The last year or two, I notice that if I hit the bottle mark of wine, it affects my sleep pattern from time to time. Such as 3 hours of sleep, then waking with a faster pulse with occasionally sweating to a various degree at 3am, and not being able to get back to sleep. I rarely get hangovers as such, but obviously when poor sleep happens I feel disappointed, sluggish and tired the following day. Hence these days harder to get back on track nutritionally I do that! Since coming back to NZ there has been lots of good wines! I like wine, beer but am not into RTD's at all.
I have recently, - umm... googled stuff along these lines. I hate the word alcoholic. By the way, most sites state that 'alcoholics' are in danger if they ever decide to have one thinkingly *innocent* alcoholic drink again. Plus rehab, talking to doctors, not attempting to 'quit' on on etc is all mentioned for probmatic alcohol users. Anyway 4 days ago I decided I'm going to completely 'give up' drinking yet again 'for now'. Have succeeded so far. However had a small 'glitch' today! That was I mindlessly had one liqueor chocolate when out, (one of the small dark chocolates filled with brandy!) The thought that I'd 'stuffed up my pure non drinking sobriety thing one day 4' occurred, the temptation crossed my mind to open a bottle of red wine after I'd done the daily activitites, - of course I know that is silly and haven't done that.
I have signed up for Febfast again, - the goal is to not have any form of alcoholic drink till at least 1 March, then will reassess. I may stay off it a bit longer, or even (a small chance) permanently. What I do know, - is if I return to drinking any alcohol, - it really must remain a smaller part of my life than it does now, such as special or noteable social occasions in moderation.
Incase anyone wonders, I never have, never will drink and drive! I am adamant on that one! Also drinking has been from habit, fun, tastes good, relaxing, love wine 'tasting' and taking notes, - just I can keep on drinking it!
I don't think things necessarily need to be 'black and white'/all or nothing. It is unrealistic with food. Even with diet soft drink I used to have far too much. Initially I had one can after 6 months with none at all and that set me off again back to old habits. Then I gave diet softs drinks up again completely for over 2 years. Then, - umm......had a 600ml coke zero about 20 months ago! Nowdays I average about 2 600ml bottles a week of the stuff, (still a bit too much for my liking) but at least not the crazy way I used to drink the stuff. That reminds me........cutting that back further too!
Have been a bit slack on the training/on track front lately, (other than nice job of staying off booze last 4 days). Back to that tomoz, plus really focussing on non processed foods, (lots of veg and water) at the moment!
Till next time,
Pip
For me its become quite simple. When I cant be arsed to eat well (you know when a whole lot of extras just become the norm) and training is a struggle then it just flows on that I also get pretty slack about how much I'm drinking. "less is more' never enters my head. But when I'm making a concerted effort to eat well and really put the effort into my training, it becomes easier to moderate (not quit!!) the alcohol and I find its what I really want to do anyway.
ReplyDeleteAs I've flip flopped between the 2 lifestyles I've come to realise that boringly fit and healthy suits me better and has me in a happier place. The alcohol sort of takes care of itself.
M
It is interesting how it all affects us differently I reckon Magda. Over 2011 when I was training for GC half marathon and other events, got to 62kg and recorded a couple of PB's,.....eating was pretty good, didn't feel restricted or overly strict but nicely controlled, I was very active workwise, I got just a tad half the training in I wanted, (3 hardcore runs a week on average plus the occasional ride/swim plus a few pushups, plank etc). But I still felt guilty with how much wine I was getting away with drinking! A drink or two, a couple of nights a week would have been fine but I was getting away with averaging MUCH more than that and my commitment to try, cut that back was very temporary. Like you, I'm in a much happier place if I consider I'm living a fit and healthy lifestyle! If that includes *moderate* drinking sometime in the future, then great, if not, that will be good too. Will stay off it till at least end of Febfast, then reassess!
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