DAY 11 of MISSION.....

G'day!

I will give an update, can say I am up to day 11......binge free, sugar free, alcohol free, pastry/deep fried food free and diet soft drink free very successfully at the moment.  Yippee, haven't swapped one less than desirable habit for another.

To make that even better, - I have exceeded my training objectives.  Have been getting in a decent amount of running, - both outdoors and on the treadmill covering well over 20k a wee over a few runs.  Am also getting in a good ride of at least 30km each weekend, (40k last Saturday).  Am also doing a good bit of resistance training too.  An objective is to work toward doing pull ups, (or at least see myself able to go up levels on the resistance pull up machine over time).  I am still working on the shoulder press, tricep dip machine, leg press, leg extension, amongst many others.  Then there are always the good ol' push ups of various styles, plank, crunches, lunges etc, - I even make myself do a circuit of them with ski jumps, run knee ups etc inbetween while watching the Olympics to get warm instead of turning on a heater at least a couple of times a week!

I find the hardest bit, - is having no alcohol, - that is no wine, beer etc :-( lol!  And I can't even chug down on a coke zero or two to feel 'good' about not indulging in my wine urge!  The first 3 days or so, - the food bit was harder but that is feeling pretty routine and simple now.

Now one may ask, 'WHY am I doing this'?

Answer:  Last year I reached my main objective which was to get and stay under 68kg, (I did for a few months anyway).  62kg for some reason had always been my 'ultimate' target but I didn't know if it was still a realistic target or not.  However I was excited to get under 68kg, - kept up what I was doing and about 8 weeks later I hit 62kg, I was super excited, size 10 etc!  I was eating healthy food, fresh etc, doing a reasonable amount of running, plus a bit of swimming and bike riding and the odd few resistance exercises on the floor.  However some weeks I seemed busy and only got 2 good sessions in, others maybe 4 or more. 

For whatever reasons, (mainly enjoyable habit built over a LONG time, (many years actually) I was drinking what I considered too much wine, - that (embarrassed to admit), being a maybe a bottle a night for a good few nights in a row.  A bottle is 3 large glasses, I may have had the first while cooking tea and then sipped the other 2 over the evening while on the internet/cleaning etc.  Of course sometimes I cracked down and had an alcohol free 3-4 days or so in a row, - occasionally longer (or made myself wait till Thurs or Fri where a good indulgence then took place, or had a beer or sometimes 3-4 instead of wine).  Occasionally even a second bottle of wine the same evening was opened.  Reality: - I just loved/love wine, - mainly sauvignon blanc, dry sparkling etc.  Sometimes I stuck to my goal of only either one or two glasses, - then couldn't wait to finish the bottle the next day/it was on my mind like open chocolate would be if I was 'outta the zone', (but more often I had the bottle).  I kidded myself, (although I knew) that a bottle was just 3 large glasses, (however generally 7-8.5 standard drinks) where as my ex-partners maybe 3 midstrength beers were 3 standard drinks.

I kept 'meaning' to reign in the wine habit, or started/but went back to square one.  However I still got to my goal weight, kept up a reasonable amount of running and fitness and went about life as normal.  I finished my last blog as I had got to a goal weight and wanted to quit blogging about that and move to a more fitness/hobbies/travel/lifestyle focus.  But I still felt guilty about my wine consumption, - particularly if I want to work in the fitness/health.wellness industry.

Unfortunately overeating/dare say bingeing took place, lifestyle changes etc and I put on quite a bit of weight, (15kg over 3 months) but up until a couple of months ago kept going up and down by a few kilos depending whether I felt I was 'in the zone' or 'out'.  So from October till early June I fluctuated between about 72.5-78kg but went backwards and forwards a few times.

However up until 11 days ago, the previous few weeks had been a bit dangerous.  My last previous weigh in was the day after 'Run for a Reason', - about 24 May and I remembered being 72.5.  Since then I lost focus and allowed 'sugar addiction' to take place, - and on day 4, (last Tuesday arvo so after almost 4 days on track) I decided to brave the scales for the first time since.  I knew it wouldn't be good, I am limited to my elastic waisted trackies, I was HOPING under 80, (as I hadn't seen 80 since 2009) but thought it was a 50/50 chance.  I had tried on a couple of bras in a shop and looked ghastly around torso, (worse than ages) and also took a few 14DD's they were all much too tight around the back, and also in the cup, need more like a 16E.  Anyhow last Tuesday the number 81.0 flashed up when I got on the gym scales, no shoes on either.  Yesterday after being totally on track for 6 days I got on them again, - saw 80.2.  I don't seem to get the 3-4kg losses in a few days like I could a few years back when over 80 and work hard!

I have taken this blog link off facebook, hopefully no-one has written down the link to go/check on me other than regular bloggers.  So yes, - I want to improve on all aspects of fitness, - strength, cardio etc, maybe even be fitter than ever.  I would love to get my resting heart rate down.  I want to shed this fat, reduce body fat, fit size 12/ideally 10's again.  I want to study Exercise Science but feel like a fraud somewhat unless I live to my core values.

I actually like having a sugarfree diet, (confectionary sugar free) and aim and want to keep it this way except for the rare and special social occasions where total avoidance is a lil attention seeking feeling and hard.  As for alcohol, - the hope is not to quit it totally, but to keep it to social occasions, (mostly keeping it to 2 drinks max which is 3-4 standard drinks anyway at least 80% of times socially.)  I am sure there still will be the odd special social occasion where a little more is consumed but it'e to be a matter of every few weeks/months instead of almost daily.  And the biggest culprit is drinking without company!  I didn't choose to do it cause I was depressed or anything, - more so it was a relaxing indulging habit I had formed for all it's reasons and I've been doing it for years, (over 10 years) sometimes off/on. I feel the need to place a total ban on drinking alone, (or replacing drinking  with coke zero or bingeing or another undesirable habit either).  Drinking seems to also postpone other important things that need doing like house maintenance, training and study next year.  I am a people pleaser by nature, - sometimes try to be a 'goddess' for others. 

And when 'in the zone eating/training wise' I tend to drink and want to drink more so wine also became an indulgent way to relax after pushing myself in each aspect all day so I kept telling myself!  If 'out of the zone', with more food, sugar, overeating, cheese, diet soft drink, etc in my diet the urge for wine wasn't quite as strong.

So there we have it.  One small thing I have noticed regarding hitting 80kg this time is that my fitness hasn't dropped off too dramatically.  I was pushing the weights quite hard a few months back and don't seem to need to drop back at all toward the level I was in January when I joined the gym so am working on further increasing my strength without it having had taken a dip.  Cardio, run speed has dropped  off a bit. But still am much fitter than in January at 77kg.  Rower effort hasn't dropped off at all, can still push self to do over 2.3k on level 10 in 10 mins!

That is long enough for a night, gotta go!

Pip :-)