A BINGE :-(.............(hate that word!)

Sushi I made at back, mini quiches I made in front.

Didn't get a close up before professional cake start being cut!

Lil sis after opening a gift.  She is due in 4 weeks.

Lil sis's flash cupcakes.

About to cut the cake, she is due to have a boy in 4 weeks.

 

G'day!  Firstly I will say I attended my sister's baby shower last evening, - a lovely evening it was!  Really nice to finally meet and talk to some of her friends, - she was very spoilt receiving lots of stuff for when the baby arrives and it was a good general catch up!

I took along an expensive, (for me) bottle of sparkling wine I was tempted to try and looking forward to trying.  I made a platter of sushi, (some salmon/veg, some grilled cajun chicken/veg, some beef/fennel seeds/veg) and also a platter of salmon, lemon, dill with lotsa mixed vege mini quiches.  I made the quiches for the first time, and they turned out great!  Mum also made some mini bacon/egg pies, there was also lots of bbqed meat such as chicken, steak, sausages, potatoes, fresh bread plus salads plus a cheese/cracker/dips/spreads/pate/grapes platter, - all very nice!

My sis made special iced cupcakes, (infact I really mean, she has made the best cupcakes I've ever tasted!)  Even better than those expensive poshly iced ones that you get in Perth which I tried once or twice!  She also got a special cake made by a local cake maker/designer!

So therefore you can probably imagine I ate a bit more than I would in normal at this party, - which I am totally happy with.  I did keep away from the bread and garlic bread.  I think enjoying and appreciating food at social occasions, (even if it's a bit more than one would normally eat at a meal) is fine.  Sure, I could have just gone with some one smaller bit of BBQed  meat and some lettuce salad but I like to permit myself to have a bit more when there has been effort put in to create nice food!  I noticed I was pretty much the only one drinking my wine....and even justified myself finishing the bottle as a), it was sparkling and I couldn't re-cork it, b) I spent a bit more than I normally would spend on a bottle of wine and it tasted good and c), I was being driven home.

So that was a great night.  I don't consider anything of that binge worthy, all of the above totally fine socially, the bad is now to come!

Being I guess a bit liquored up, or just in that 'dumb' mood when I got home.....I felt a familiar urge, all the sushi off cuts in the fridge calling my name at that time.  When I make sushi, the end pieces never sit neatly on a platter, - therefore they are off-cuts.  I generally eat them with some soy and wasabi as another meal which tastes good, - but actually when hungry as a meal!  There were enough off-cuts for 2 meals, I had planned on them for breakfast and lunch today.  I SHOULD have just had a glass of water, ignored urge and f**k*d off to bed like I managed to do last time I had such an urge.  BUT I gave in and ate all the sushi off cuts with soy/wasabi!  Also for the past week I've had various chocolate easter eggs in my fridge, - the total weight of them being about 280g, (2 creme eggs, a few of those mini caramello eggs, a mini pack of 2 mini caramello bunnies, 1 marshmellow egg).  I don't know why I really had the chocolate in the house, think I bought it on special, had it to give to people who had something to give me but it had been in my fridge for a week without me worrying about it.  BUT the thing I am annoyed at.....is at 11.30pm after polishing off the sushi off cuts, I went and  polished off ALL that chocolate mentioned above before hitting bed.  I guess that's why people don't keep sometimes tempting foods in the house......however if it wasn't chocolate or sushi off cuts, it probably would have been thick hunks of cheese or even lots of  toasties or something silly, once it was diet yoghurt and tuna and vegies a few years back!.

I did tick off all running training for week, happy with efforts there!  After Thursdays 7.45k run in the evening, I got the torture hill treadmill session successfully completed yesterday.  I have 12k Surf to City race tomoz so can have a day off running training today.  Just a bit of resistance work in order plus the walk to pick up car.

Well, - a binge leaves me feeling deflated and annoyed and unproductive!  After such incidents in the past I have prooved many times I can move on, train, get back on track straight away, (however I find it tough) haha!  However still too often they can lead me into a downward spiral of bingeing, no intense training, not enough productivity for my liking etc etc for however long it takes for me to put the foot down and start getting fit again at a lesser level!

I have read that book, - 'Brain Over Binge', relate to it, even feel confident that I won't binge again for a good while......like the author says she has managed to do for over 5 years!  So a 'binge' has made me, (in the past) feel like a bit of a failure with the need to go back to the start again!

I have come to a new conclusion, - that is to not put so much emphasis on a 'binge' or bout of uncontrolled eating I don't see as justified.  Therefore I don't see myself as a failure, or that I did a totally lowly thing for resorting to that binge like I may have in the past.

 Instead I think......'urgh, just a SILLY thing I did', (not a failure)!  If I didn't give into the urge, it would have eventually left and I would still have the chocolate and sushi off cuts in fridge and wouldn't have had last nights party tainted by my binge!  Last night I was aware of what I was doing, and aware that I had a choice, spaced my wine with water.  I wasn't too drunk that I woke up to lots of food wrappers, that I didn't remember eating after a night out........(I did that a few years back and that was a REALLY silly scenario to get myself into that I have managed to stay away from since)!  I will also note, not all my binges have occured from alcohol, lots in past from an 'urge' with no alcohol involved at all.

SO, - where to now?  Well, the SILLIEST thing is to think.....I've stuffed it, lose momentum and go on an eating, no training rampage isn't it? That's if our goals are to get fitter, have a healthy lifestyle, be a role model, lose fat and then not fluctuate much etc right?  I have also occasionally done the other extreme such as mentally calculating the calories of the binge, (I would estimate last nights as a typical day's worth of calories for me, - ie that I shouldn't eat for today, - plus train to negate it as soon as poss)!  A couple of times that has worked for smaller binges where I don't have much on the next day, but for huge binges such as 6000-7000 plus cals 3 days without food in a lifestyle where we still need to function with normal day to day stuff, .....that's just not feasible!

So really most feasible thing seems to be.....just get back on track straight away, drink lots of water, if overly full, skip a meal or eat lightly till next hungry but in whatever circumstance, make controlled decisions I feel OK or happy with.  Just going back to normal styled eating/meals straight away is great with lots of water.  A great training session is also good, - ie that will be Surf to City tomoz.

So, - I am just trying to be logical rather than emotional about it.  A binge, (of whatever sort) is silly, hopefully they don't happen often at all, if they do, we have to deal with it practically.

Pip :-)