AN UPDATE......A NEW PAIR OF JEANS LOL......

G'day,

Lately have been working, doing some gardening, have just booked my next lot of Crossfit classes, (2 a week for the month of June) and playing with my cute lil nephew who is 9 weeks old today.  Have also caught up with some old school friends, (whom I hadn't seen in well over 10 years, and at that stage briefly). 

Here is something minor!  As for the last episode of.....quick weight gain from getting off track, bingeing, etc....and wanting to 'get 'all possible ever desires', all out of my system' before getting 'on track', (hopefully for good) again, - something slightly unusual for me happened over the last few days.

I hadn't yet quite got round to making myself go for a hardcore run, finding out how much fitness I'd lost, trying some pushups, crunches etc and seeing how much I now sucked.....setting the new lower 'starting' dismal benchmark.  After a layoff, - and excess quick weight, the results from that are always depressing lol!  My 'usual' pattern is.....up until I did that new 'benchmark' training session....I'd get in all the um......'not so desirable foods' in non moderate quantities than I could possibly ever desire, then magically 'after that benchmark session', I would genuinely not ever desire to choose to have them off my own bat for ages......(till I lost momentum)....mental programming of course!

I did set a 'crackdown again date' a couple of weeks ago, but missed the boat on the day so to speak!  However over the last week or so......I'm not wanting to eat till hungry, seem to want foods such as a variation of leanish protein with veg or salad, fresh fruit, water, um coffee and some wine, even healthy non sweet dairy options in small quantities, egg white/veg omeletes and similar, some but not excess bread, small serves avocado and occasional almonds etc......actually my normal type of 'on track/in the zone' foods I desire.  I made some savoury muffins for workmates the other day, (cheese, some veg, herbs, pepper white flour, trim milk and egg).  Thought I'd better not get too kinky on them and do them with wholemeal flour or ingredients they wouldn't recognise!  Over the many years......they were one of my 'binge foods', I could bake and even eat a whole batch, (12 muffins alone)...hot out of the oven with lashings of butter,....only time I like butter....shhhh!  Or if on track.....I didn't genuinely desire or have any if I made them and would avoid them unless in situation I felt rude avoiding them socially.  The other day, well I made a random decision to have 1 muffin as a late breakfast with coffee and water, not none, not the whole batch or half the batch lol and had no desire to want to....or go and buy all the chocolate etc I could ever desire to gorge on and didn't!

Am revved for a big run tomorrow, am not expecting a great time or anything.  I can see myself having a desire for, sorry for the term but 'clean food', once I'm as focussed with training as I'd like to stay again!  But whether it's 'clean' food or the muffin lol........it definitely feels better to feel satisfied I haven't binged.  Lets keep this going!  It's really just keeping on top of the mental game, (no secret).....if those silly 'urges' come, if we ignore them the best we can, they will pass.

BTW, - I don't have many nice looking jeans or trousers which sit respectfully at the moment, - all too small and of course long pants are desired in winter over shorts.  I do have one pair of jeans, but being low cut, they seem to 'pop' off my butt so I need to be mindful of that and wear a long baggy top.  Even a belt didn't help.  So there was a deal at Just Jeans.....one pair for $69.95 or 2 for $100.  I chose a stretch, straight legged blue high waisted size 14 pair that fit now, and a choc brown stretch pair in size 12, (like nothing I have ever had before) that will match all my clothes, - which will fit when I move toward the high to mid 70's odd kg wise.

Other than that, am cruising along well!